.W.o.R.d.s.

Life

2006-05-07T22:47:00.000+09:30

Comparision and usefulness.
It never ends.

Sianz

2006-03-29T02:14:00.000+10:30

Is love just a scale of measure?
Is love an elaborate game that involves ups and downs?
Perhaps love is just a feeling 2 people share for each other,
well,
perhaps.

What happens?

2006-03-21T01:22:00.000+10:30

When we seek perfection?
It will never come,
and it will never fail to disappoint,
let it go.

=)

2006-03-12T10:15:00.000+10:30

I'm so tired from the lack of sleep lately,
and sorry that i have not been updating much,
but everything is more than fantastic over here.
It really is, it really is,
and may it last forever.
^_^

Update

2006-02-26T11:08:00.000+10:30

haven't been updating much,
but this past 2 weeks have been good but tiring.
Lots of cooking, studying and laughing,
well, what else can one expect?

Muse

2006-02-19T21:40:00.000+10:30

Ain't it just like that all the time?

Some things are priceless

2006-02-10T00:51:00.000+10:30

Some things only happen once,
only at a particular time in life,
like my greenhorn driving skills,
if you all were there to experience it,
wells, it's something people whom i meet later in life
will never experience,
maybe even my wife next time,
but you guys would have tried it out before,
in a way,
the experience is priceless.

Was in NUS today,
was suddenly struck by this thought when i was witnessing
the crowd of people move by,
and i saw people i did not expect to meet,
that someone could be so near but miss you all the time,
and some people you will always happen to meet in a crowd of a thousand.
There's bound to be alot of people out there that i have missed
at every turn,
just like decisions and oppurtunities,
so many things that could have happened or changed,
but like the people i am never destined to meet,
perhaps these things are also destined to not happen,
and that's what make all the people that i have met special.

Some experiences are special,
some people are special,
every memory is precious,
arn't there days where you feel that no matter how hard you try,
there's so many things in your own life that you cannot control,
that you cannot change,
why not just let it be,
and let destiny map those special points in our life.

Some questions...to raise self awareness!

2006-02-08T03:24:00.000+10:30

1. If u can choose to have flaws in a person, where do you want it to be??
Personality?
Character?
Physical appearance?
Mannerism?

2. Do you think it's bliss to be ignorant or a bliss to know more and think
of consequences?
E.g
Do you think it's good to be a child who can enjoy a large packet of fries
or will you rather be a adult that considers all the health risk before
he eats?
Which is better?

3. What does responsibility means to you?
A duty? A chore? A obligation? A heartfelt action? A liability?
Sensibilty and responsibility.....same or not the same?

4. Would you rather be sensible and irresponsible, or,
insensible and responsible.

5. Love more or be loved more?

6. Step or be stepped on?

7. What does being true means to you?
To be realistic and practical? or,
To hold on to your dreams?

8. Sacrifices.
Just another chance to gain points with someone or truely an act of greatness?

9. Has the world wronged you or have you wronged the world?

10. I am the centre of the universe.
My friend and family are the centre of the universe.
Someone else is the centre of the universe.
There is no centre of the universe.

11. Existence now.
Part of our journey before we return to God.
Part of the matrix.
We're just living, cause we're not dead.
I dun care.

2006-02-07T13:13:00.000+10:30

How we feel about life is the mentality we adopt to live it,
chances are if life ain't a bed of roses,
most likely we've adopted the wrong mentailty.

Bad experiences don't stop people from doing stupid things,
time does.

One of these days

2006-02-06T21:20:00.000+10:30

I'm in a just do it mood.
Don't ask me why,
i just doing all these things i've always wanted to do.

The interesting analogy... to a semi charmed life

2006-02-05T20:26:00.000+10:30

Something they said in church today kinda affirm to me
that the first step to any kind of happiness, freedom
has to be the acceptance that life is inperfect.

Today the service was about a change of direction in your life,
us unwittingly falling to a dependence on dispair,
letting our inadequecy consume us,
allowing ourselves to focus on the failures and flaws,
surrounding ourself with bitterness, jealousy, lust,
about being withered,
physical inadequencies,
having someone wronged you and still unable to recover from
the consequences,
our brain giving us the concept we'll never whole,
a failure of life,
The list goes on and on,
and the message in the end was of course about how
God will complete us and make us whole again...

Beliefs aside,
it is safe to say,
that I've grown to accept that life will never ever be perfect,
and that's the way i will like it.
If we always seek to reach some form of perfection,
no matter in what aspect,
there's bound to be failures and setback.
Let's just say I'm jaded.
This does not equate to a lack of effort, hopes and trying,
but more....
a accpetance of..imperfection in life.
Perhaps that's the way it was always meant to be,
definetely that is the way we have to learn to accept it,
and maybe probably life will work out fine.

I mean what seems perfect,
probably will only last for the moment,
something else will come along,
a good in a different kind of way,
love is inperfect,
character is inperfect,
personality is inperfect,
physically we are inperfect,
events are inperfect,
one thing's for sure,
why be bothered by something that will happen,
focus on the good,

and we'll all have a semi-charmed life.

^_^

Perfect

2006-02-04T14:13:00.000+10:30

Remember,

"Although no one's a saint,
no one should be a sinner as well."

Nothing might be perfect,
but a lack of perfection does not give a right to be wrong.

Everyone has a right to be wrong,
but not if they know better,
and with our level of thoughtfulness, maturity, sensitivty and understanding,
there really should not be too many 'wrongs.'

Something perfect,
can be something which is not entirely right,
but should never be something that is too wrong.

Why always like that

2006-02-04T13:30:00.000+10:30

Like the show i watched,
to the guy,
the most important thing in life is to protect and take care of his wife,
and then to the girl,
the most important in life is her ideals/work that keeps her going.
Not that she din love her husband.
Then she died,
and the husband spent the rest of his life chasing her goals.
In the end,
it was like...he finally understood what is wife was fighting for,
but one comes to wonder,
did the wife ever bother to understand him and what he wants?
Like no.
The only thoughtfulness she had was to exclude him from everything
so that he would be 'safe'.
Din someone tell her the husband din mind dying for her as he eventually did?
Din someone tell her the husband would be much more happier to know evreything
from the start.
Din someone tell her,
keeping secrets from the person u love is never a good thing no matter
what the intentions might be?

There is nothing more hurtful than showing your lack of trust in your partner

Morale of the story:
Even though you love your wife and only want to protect her,
and that might be your number one priority in life,
chances are she will have some other goals in life that keep her going.
So you must understand her and give in to her,
cause guys are expected to be more understanding than girls,
even though she might not be as understanding to you,
it is something not expected of them.

Well, a man can never truely understand a woman, and a woman can never truely
understand a man.

Well said,
lets just leave everything at in between and stop asking for more,
and people should start having more faith in each other,
so the world would be a better place.

^_^

Is it true

2006-02-04T05:27:00.000+10:30

That good people have sad stories to tell,
and bad people have nice stories to relate?
Good people make self sacrifices,
bad people takes things away from you,
I'm crazy to be defining good and bad.
Haha.

TOL

2006-02-03T22:07:00.000+10:30

Has come to a relevation,
lets just say it's a lil sad...
It's about time i start sticking to
what i tell myself to do....
But then again,
self obligations can be so crippling.
End of the day,
only myself to blame.
Haha.

Reflections

2006-02-02T21:03:00.000+10:30

Combination of a few things i did today has brought me down from
my wandering state of mind.
To come and realise that I've chosen the path of medicine,
and it's going to be a life of committments,
of responsibility,
of disicipline,
of hardship,
a life whereby I'll have little time for leisure,
a life whereby a simple act of dining out should be considered a luxury,
a life whereby I'll have little time to rest,
a life with stress,
a life with disease and illnesses,
a life away from enjoyment and relaxation,
a life in which we will spend less time with our friends and family
then our patients,
a life of self-sacrifices,
a life of little sleep.

I'm not going to have much more time where i can slack away into nothingness,
a life where i can afford 8 hours of sleep a day,
a life where i can shunt away from important decisions making,
a life where i can brood over the little things,
a life where i can watch movies and spill my tears and laughter on them,
a life where i can take a stroll in the park and breathe the fresh air,

Everyone becomes jaded,
it's going to be almost a final major tranisition in my life
over the following 2-3 years?
There's not going to be very much more years where i can spare
so much time 'malingering' , slacking, brooding, playing computer games,
i should be grateful now, cause once it's gone i will never be able to
get it back anymore....

Next few years are probably going to be the easiest to come,
before the real hectic life starts to begin,
friends,
was just thinking last night,
I've met just these selected bunch of you all,
everyone special,
everything precious,
I'm not going to be making alot of new people now,
it's a nice thought to think you're destined to meet all the people you've met
so far in your life,
and realtionship with everyone is always evolving,
and unique.
If time had rewound and everything was to happen again,
nothing i have now or nothing that i have lost,
would be any much different.
So i shd be thankful to have what i have right now.

So it is,
I've chosen what i can hardly say to be an easy life,
but it's my decision,
it's the path i have chosen,
to be a doctor,
and on top of discipline and hardwork,
a support network and appreciation of whatever i have
is gonna be real important.
Like the show i watched today,
where the doctor only started appreciating and missing his wife
after he lost her,
and before that it was just pushing back things until
tomorrow,
was just a very sad show,
in which if we do not appreciate,
we'll just spend our lives chasing the things we didn't do,
and trying to make up for it.

Think i have to grow use to the fact that,
some things are going to remain as dreams,
like how i might envision my life to be,
stealing away for a romantic dinner,
maybe a lovely stroll by the beach,
spending alot of time with my kids,
having my life partner to be exactly the way i magine her to be,
a lot of things are not going to be coming the way i expect,
i guess i will take whatever comes,
all the good and all the bad,
and try to squeeze more out of this life.

So for all the medical students out there,

take the brunt of the problems and setbacks we will face head on,

work hard and strive for responsibilty ,

care for our patients, but leave the best of it for the people we care for,

give support to everyone within your circle,

take some time off and smell the roses,

and lastly,

keep your smiles and chins up.

^_^

?

2006-02-02T18:20:00.000+10:30

A broken string can never be rejoined,
but a hole can be patched up.

Guess what show?

2006-02-02T18:14:00.000+10:30

" And years later they'll tell of how hey stood in the rain for hours just to get a glimpse of the person who taught them to hold on for just a second longer.
I believe there's a hero in all of us, keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to do what's right, even though sometimes we have to be steady and give up the things we want the most, even our dreams. "

"Am i not suppose to have what i want, what i need.
What am i suppose to do? "

2006-02-01T23:19:00.000+10:30

An says:
u fly back, when u coming back
poei says:
i dunno
poei says:
maybe end of year
poei says:
or mid year
An says:
kk time flies man. no more gymming buddy soon
An says:
haha
An says:
watcha doing now?
poei says:
nth much
poei says:
haha
poei says:
yeah lor
poei says:
can't believe it's been so long too
An:
free to tok?
poei says:
erm yeah
poei says:
wad do u wanna talk abt?
poei says:

An says:
i juz read ur blog post
An says:
i was juz wondering is love about unconditional love....
poei says:
i dunno man
poei says:
i would think it is
poei says:
but i wud say
An:
then it wld b like cheeyong like tt... go after a ger
An says:
and not expect her to reciprocate
poei says:
yeah thats why i dun think it can be like that
poei says:
although it's suppose to be
poei says:
but i think... no pt waste your time and effort
poei says:
find someone who loves u back
poei says:
then u love unconditionally
poei says:
haha
poei says:
sigh
poei says:
haha
poei says:
i dunno, maybe when we're older, we will be more practical
poei says:
no such thing as self sacrifice
poei says:
but i must say, i oso will tend to be a lil like c yong
poei says:
CHeeyong
An says:
u noe tt's the idea haf in mind u noe.. after watching all those drama serials,,, but then when i grow older, i realise there's no such thing as love unconditionally ley... the ger wants this, u want tt.. then if u love unconditionally, or expect to love unconditionally, then no one takes a step back
poei says:
i mean that's always the debate wad
poei says:
do u want to find someone u love more? or someone who loves u more
poei says:
best will be both way, but ....seldom happens
An says:
of cos its the latter
An says:
i wld take the latter anytime
poei says:
but someone u wun like as much, you will get bored
poei says:
u will be less likely to accomodate
poei says:
you might nvr feel satisfied
poei says:
and we're talking lifelong
poei says:
not happy go lucky
An says:
if someone likes u, she will be nice to u, do all kind of things to make u happy rite... having someone like tt lifelong i dont mind man
poei says:
but say there's this someone u like more?
poei says:
humans are....forever wanting more man
poei says:
u get sth.... u will want more de
An says:
i think i oso like cheeyong... will go after a ger for darn long... but i think if u go after for 1 yr, 2 yr, mayb more, u get tired
poei says:
i suppose so
An says:
u take one step forward, she takes 2 steps back
poei says:
that's true oso la, see how you fare lor, everyone has diff life story
An says:
the distance nvr close
poei says:
i think one day we'll all find a compromise
An says:
u noe do u miss ur sec/jc days.. somehow i miss them noe
An says:
life in uni seemed very solitary
An says:
no more hanging out with u all... i make new frens no doubt, but the lvl of frenship nvr seem to replace tt estb in sec/jc
poei says:
i understand what u mean
An says:
i feel very alone
poei says:
i think as we grow up, it's more solitary form of life le
poei says:
most of us prob feel, we've already got our group of khakis
poei says:
quite sad la
poei says:
but i guess, next time when we're adults... life's prob gonna be quite solo le
poei says:
u have your own family... u wun mix out
poei says:
now's just the transition
An says:
having ur own family different mah
An says:
u haf ur wife, ur kids
An says:
how can tt b alone
An says:
someone u love
poei says:
i mean.... it's the transition to being independent
poei says:
pp dun wannt rely on others so much
poei says:
it's like sad la... but i think it's part of the growing up process
poei says:
nth we can do
An says:
yeah. but then sometimes i think it may juz b me... not really toking much... i see some pple like frens a lot a lot...
An says:
say, tt
An says:
tt's ur hamster arh
poei says:
haiYa, i think no one can have so many close frens de
poei says:
friendly is diff thing]
An says:
true true
poei says:
u know... haihz, life passes by so fast
poei says:
i guess the fun years are over
An says:
i guess so
poei says:
wellz
poei says:
we can only move forward right?
An says:
no way i cld stop it
An says:
when u haf troubles, who wld u turn to
poei says:
me?
poei says:
self purge
An says:
meaning bottle it up?
poei says:
i solo de
poei says:
yeah
poei says:
i mean not all the time la
poei says:
but generally
poei says:
i realise i self purge
An says:
dun u feel horrible. i feel horrible bottling things up
poei says:
but sometimes you dun feel anyone can help you
An says:
haha how u self purge? u bottle it up, u think of it more and more.. the sadder u get
poei says:
i dunno, try to get over it, think through it
poei says:
rationalise
poei says:
move on
An says:
i think u r a more rational person than i am... i think i am more a feeler than a thinker
Ansays:
my emotions and logic seem to work in different paths
poei says:
i think yeah i rationalise and present myself with the options, i have troubles moving on too,
poei says:
but i guess if sth is inevitable i dun try to stop it
poei says:
there's no fighting the facts
poei says:
there's no use in denial or self delusion or hoping against hope
poei says:
i feel, the best thing we can do for ourselves is to make your future better
poei says:
the past... nth can be done
An says:
but acceptance gives sadness.... n sadness colors everything dull
An says:
u juz dun feel like doing anything else
An says:
but brood over it
poei says:
that's so true, life has taken a certain toll on me... i guess, everything just gets duller over the years
An says:
when u study, does ur mind wander arh...
poei says:
of course, =( , i think i study at 50% efficiency
An says:
when i sit down study, all the sad things floods my mind
poei says:
i'm day dreaming half the time
An says:
then fuk. sit down 1 hr, study 1 sentence
poei says:
hahaz, yeah man, must have self discipline... and self pruge
An says:
then if i happy, oso same. sit down think of happy things, study 1 hr 1 sentence
poei says:
i mean, whether it really works out is another thing
An says:
study v easy day dream
poei says:
i guess everyone has alot of emotional baggage, everyone has a certain degree of jadeness,
An says:
tt's y i admire boon can sit down study really study and remember
poei says:
yeah, somtimes dun u just wish u could remove all the bad memories
poei says:
but hahaz, i've grown to accept it la, life's abt finding pockets of happiness in a sea of dull
An says:
ur bad memories, do they mostly concern relationships?
poei says:
life's about appreciating the bonds with pp ard you, life's about finding some kind of peace within from the chaos outside
poei says:
, let me think bout that
poei says:
bad memories can be anything... but i guess r/s related ones are the ones that makes you sad
An says:
so watever tt can make u sad is only other pple ya?
poei says:
, wad do u mean?
poei says:
sometimes i feel sad when i think of a possible future, u know, can be anything in general
poei says:
or like if people disappear from your life
poei says:
or like if you can't do some things anymore
poei says:
you know, it does get pretty lonely in melb sths
poei says:
life can become depressing sometimes
An says:
i can't really stand loneliness noe
An says:
sometimes i play wc to past time
An says:
watch movies
An says:
but then after the game is over, show is done, it's back to the same emptiness again
poei says:
i know, can u imagine... there's nothing to do over there
poei says:
it's a vast emptiness both inside and outside
An says:
find other singaporeans lor. they all oso feel empty
An says:
so sparks fly faster
poei says:
it's not a big problem la to me, i mean loneliness is alright... but sths u just wish there was more colour in life
poei says:
i mean, sadness is... just another emotion, life's pretty much abt combating sadness and fighting happiness
poei says:
we've been doing it all our lives
poei says:
i can take it de la
An says:
haha, y fight happiness. accept happiness better
poei says:
finding i mean, not fighting
An says:
u noe, in psychiatry, there's a condition called dysthymia
An says:
meaning a low grade chronic sadness lasting for more than 2 yrs
An says:
like a chronic depression of sort
poei says:
what's that
An says:
but less severe
poei says:
i think i have it then... haha any cure?
An says:
i always think i haf it
An says:
how
An says:
haha
poei says:
one day we'll find out
An says:
cure= visit psychiatrist
An says:
or take anti-depressants
An says:
haha
poei says:
i'll be your psychiatrist
An says:
lol
An says:
i always wonder who cures the psych
poei says:
k la, alot of people can find things in life to turn to de, like religon, friends... anything
An says:
i think religion is a form of escape mech ley
An says:
a form of belief so tt u wont b too harp up on sth
poei says:
it's good to be able to find solace.....
An says:
like u want this, but dun get it
An says:
then u believe tt it's all part of god's plan
An says:
then u feel slightly better
poei says:
i know what u mean
An says:
a form of delusion huh
poei says:
but i must say, solace is something everyone yearns for
poei says:
however means... religon, friends.... it's good to find it
poei says:
u know, sths i feel sad for my friends who might be treated badly
poei says:
like u wish there was sth u can do to help them
poei says:
it's like..... you just wanna eliminate sadness sometimes
An says:
yeah
An says:
every mmt i feel sad, i think its killing my brain cells
An says:
u juz not focus on ur tasks anymore ley
An says:
it really affects my daily functioning noe
poei says:
yeah i know
poei says:
you know, like cy, i act feel a bit sad for him
poei says:
sths marriage oso scares me
poei says:
pp are so blinded by emotions
An says:
haha it's like how pple in love will oso b blind to each others faults
poei says:
like i see my mum sths like oppressed like that
An says:
until the emotion fades then the differences start coming in
poei says:
like damn sad.... like especially worrying for female friends
poei says:
yeah
poei says:
love IS blind
poei says:
i really like this quote on tammy's blog
An says:
haha, shld say "like" is blind
An says:
u like someone then everything abt her is gd
An says:
wats the qutoe
poei says:
Don't you understand that everything I do, I do it for you?
Anything that might be special in me, is you.

poei says:
Don't you understand that everything I do, I do it for you?
Anything that might be special in me, is you.
An says:
http://www.intellectualwhores.com/
An says:
this is the ladder theory
poei says:
i see, i guess it's kinda true la, the ladder thing

Well said

2006-02-01T13:41:00.000+10:30

"I think therefore I am."
Words are the sweetest,
but there're nice only to believe
and sometimes the transition to action does not quite happen.
Promises are beautiful,
only when they are kept,
and when you get to experience them.
And then at the end of the day,
life has an uncanny ability to bring you down to earth,
or make you...
look for more.

Emotions are bereft of logic

2006-01-31T01:53:00.000+10:30

But this much is true,
we know how we feel,
we know what we should feel,
we know how we could feel,
but that does not translate to how we will feel,
why?
only... God knows,
or maybe it's some kind of
mental block or psychological barrier,
as i said,
only... God knows,
and perhaps one day we'll find the answer.

And of course,
if we can't even control how we feel,
then the more we dun know how somebody else feels,
or how somebody else should feel,
or somebody else can feel,
and most essentially,
how somebody actually feels,
only....somebody knows,
and whether...
we can, will, should, could, or ...want to...
believe... somebody.

Perhaps figuring out isn't important,
some things are meant to be,
lets give...
fate a little chance in our lives,
but then again,
every small thing that has happened...
With absoulutely nothing in exception,
It's part of our destiny,
ain't it?

Putting it where it counts

2006-01-31T01:12:00.000+10:30

Hoooooooo
I guess all throughout life we're gonna have troubles,
troubles and more troubles.
No matter at what stage in life,
there's bound to be various setbacks, troubles, ruts,
unsettled issues, grievances.... whatever.
Say now,
everyone has more or less the same kind of troubles,
relationship, studies' stress, uncertain future.
A few more years from now,
it's gonna be a different story,
maybe... marriage,
*touch wood*, infidelity? Fininacial management,
parent issues, children issue,
proper care for parents, schooling for kids...
And maybe a few more years?
What's to come, health problems? More fininacial complications?
Finding proper housing? Education for kids?
The list never ends,
no matter how old we grow.
I guess what is important is to not be too foucs on your own problems,
and i guess there are probably not that unique,
everyone has, had or will have the similar issues now and then,
perhaps that's when we will find advice and direction in life from
peers, parents.....
Guess we all have our own support network,
it might change now and then,
and change is one of the hardest thing to deal with in life,
and time passes by so fast!
Perhaps it's good to constantly sit down and list down
what I have in life every so often,
and tell myself...
"this is what i have, nothing more, nothing less,
what do i make of the things i have. "
And if there's anything i want, i guess i'll see what i can do,
no point letting it consume myself,
or letting my life revolve around possessing something,
and not around the things i have.

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going

We've come a long way, and we have a long way to go....

^_^

-_-

2006-01-30T13:28:00.000+10:30

Had a dream about sombody,
because of something i read on the person's blog.
Perhaps subconsciously, we are more affected than we admit.
=)

The years go by

2006-01-29T23:35:00.000+10:30

The years go by,
the years go by,
and,
the years go by.
So fast,
too fast,
we leave things behind because we couldn't hold on to them,
we leave things behind because we didn't hold on to them,
sometimes we have the luxury of regrets,
sometimes life forces us to look and plan ahead,
take a look around,
breathe,
life is...
now.

Thanks for the nice conversation

2006-01-28T03:20:00.000+10:30

Hahaz,
been a while since i've managed a
meaningful msn conversation.
=P

Imperfection

2006-01-28T02:00:00.000+10:30

Acceptance of imperfection in the most perfect way
between two people is love.
Isn't it a irony,
we want ourselves to be perfect,
but the only world in which we can be perfect is in someone else's.
Keep thee heart whole,
and love with it I shall.

When we go,
anywhere,
is it harder for the people we leave behind,
or for us who are leaving?

Do we matter more to the people we're leaving
or do they matter more to us?

Truth indeed is, nothing we can do abt it,
nothing to be sad about i guess,
i've grown to realise something,
if u feel a particular way about something,
do not hide or attempt to disregard it,
denial, igonorance does not work,
the best thing to do,
is to confront it and accept it,
and when there are things we need to get over,
we realise it comes much easier.

=)

No matter what it takes

2006-01-27T00:27:00.000+10:30

I suppose everyone is afraid of failure,
and everyone has their own ways of dealing with it,
coping with it,
denying it,
accepting it.

We may pretend it's nothing,
but truth is failure,
or the fear of it,
affects us in many different and subtle ways.

In life,
everybody has different capabilities and metohds of coping,
no one is weak, no one is strong,
no one is right, no one is wrong,
a true friend does not doubt,
a true friend always believes in you,
so perhaps what is important,
is to never stop believing in the people you care for,
cause it will see us through to the end.

Everyone will take a tumble sometimes,
everyone will lose hope,
everyone will lose their way,
everyone will fail,
everyone will fall,
there will be times when we can pull through alone,
there will be times when we won't be able to pick ourself up alone,
and all throughout our lives,
we will meet people who will believe in us,
who will help us unconditionally,
and when we're fine,
we should also extend whatever belief we can to the people around us.

Looks are superficial,
beauty is skin deep,
cliche but true,
today something i heard on tv touch me unexpectantly,
that if we look deep enough into someone's core,
we'll be able to see the kindness and goodness that dwells within,
and that is what that is true beauty,
and that is what that will last forever.

Aaah, such lovey dovey talk,
so nice.
^_^

And perhaps that is all that matters,
may all the good people never lose faith in themeselves,
and everyone to never stop believing.

^_^

A nice day

2006-01-26T00:37:00.000+10:30

That started off with cycling along east coast park,
it's been such a long time since i'vedone it,
the nice scenery, the fresh air, the crazy antics ( from me ),
the beach is just so romantic,
and watching and listening to the waves just sets my heart at peace sometimes,
jsut watching them come and go,
come and go,
just like people and events in our life,
they will come and go,
and we're just like the sand,
getting stirred and swoshed around,
some waves hit us harder, some waves change us more,
in the end what's important is how and where we settle....

One of these nights this year,
i wish i'll find myself at the beach once again,
with nice company.
=)

Anywayz,
more on the cycling,
there was the Jay Chou pose by houston at bedok jetty,
there was the promise that one day we'll try the wakeboarding at the lagoon,
the hot afternoon sun,
jia hui getting 'hungry',
us trying to cycle through the 'forest' without much avail,
jia hui getting 'hungrier',
and the sun getting hotter,
and of course who's to forget weiyong's proclaimation,
nono, this time it's nothing to do with jiahui,
but.....
" I think I'm cute. "

0_o <---- Me

o_O <---- jiawei

O_O <---- houston

-_- <----- jiahui

^_^ <----- weiyong

LOL.

Just finshed watching the 9pm show,
you know,
it'll be wonderful if there would be a chunchun in my life right now,
in fact no,
it'll be perfect if there would be someone half as nice as chunchun
in my life,
i mean she cares and loves so unconditionally and whole heartedly,
i'll dedicate my life to her,
think only of her,
do things only for her,
and take care of her always.
^_^

They say love is selfish,
I would prefer to call it single-mindedness between 2 people,
for someone who can love you as much as chunchun does,
that is true bliss =)

And may we all be able to appreciate something like that one day.

^_^

Quotes .... again =P

2006-01-24T00:22:00.000+10:30

"The greatest distance in the world is to
be in front of you but to have you not
believing i love you. "

=)

2006-01-24T00:18:00.000+10:30

Support, understanding, trust and forgiveness.

In remembrance

2006-01-23T15:51:00.000+10:30

We'll only miss things when they are missing,
don't we?
It's no good that we only appreciate something when
it's already gone...or over...or missing.
I miss my phone,
my sleek black V3,
=(
let this be a lesson for me in appreciation.
Mustn't let this stop me from getting in sync with my new phone,
else it might become a endless cycle.
Hahaz.

=/

Looking inside

2006-01-23T13:37:00.000+10:30

Sometimes it's good to lay down the bare facts of life to yourself,
and try and make yourself see things in a different perspective,
had a really nice dream last night,
few things in life matter,
when you focus only on yourself though,
life loses it's meaning.
Been increasingly sappy these days,
sleeping like a log,
hahaz.

Take a look around

2006-01-22T18:48:00.000+10:30

Just looking at my parents,
and then you can't help but think that
it is so sad when you do not find the right life partner.
If you find someone whose temperament will boil over,
someone who will get frustrated with you over the smallest thing,
someone who does not agree with the way you handle and do the smallest things,
someone whose idea of care, concern does not conicide with yours,
life is gonna be sad,
big time.
Arguments are ok,
but not when you disagree on too many things.

Marriage might be the eternal promise to be there for each other,
but getting married does not necessarily promises you that.
What an irony.

Underneath all the layers of attractiveness that the person has put up when
he/she was younger,
what is underneath?
Underneath the charm and beauty of everyone lies another person,
not necessary a bad one,
but most essentially a different one.

Love and passion might blind one to everything else,
with love might come tolerance and compromise,
does it necessarily emcompass happiness?

Guess it is best to face life with much greater truth and less lies,
not to the point of being brusque and tactless,
but by knowing more clearly what we expect from
the people around us,
our friends,
our family,
or next time,
our spouse,
our kids.

Ask yourself what is it that we truely envision our lives to be,
ask yourself what it is that we envision our life partners to be,
it is impossible to change someone unless the person changes on his/her own.

Think it's possible to love only one person at one time,
but possible to have loved many.
For those that you have loved,
you sincerly wish them to be happy in the rest of their life journey,
and you accept that your journey is not with them by your side.
For the one you love,
you'll care and protect,
and there is no greater gift to you than her happiness.

=(
I'm such a crappy person, hahaz.
Maybe i should start blogging about other things,
like.....

I NEED MORE MONEY!

Hahaz.

Kidding.

^_^

Interesting thoughts, random conversation amongst guys

2006-01-21T22:40:00.000+10:30

After a converstaion with .... <--- Whose identity is preserved
The one
Interesting how we always use the term,
the one so freely.

Humans are amazing creatures,
whatever feelings we might develop,
and partially self constructed,
essentially it is possible for us to convince ourselves anything.
Feelings are self-fabricated.

Assuming that we find looks, mannerism, behaviour of 10% of the people tolerable,
out of the 10%,
whoever reciprocates more to you....
you are most likely to convince yourself she's the one.
So, say out of all the people you know, or ever know,
there are probably a few,
'the one'.

And not to mention that there will probably be some super hot, macho, confident, intelligent, cute kind of guy out there for the girls, and some super beautiful, sweet, caring and demure girls out there for the guys,
these people receive extra points in becoming ' the one'
We don't even need to convince ourselves we like these people,
everyone has a certain degree of lust,
let our imagination do the rest.

So, even though it's like finding a needle in the haystack,
there are many needles in the haystack,
not many,
not one either,
a few probably,
and the more people you meet in life,
the more needles there are.

And things start to get dangerous and complicated when
we think we've found a needle and dropped it back into the haystack,
or we've caught a glimpse of one,
That's when people start doing funny things.

People will go the amazing lengths to retrieve something that
they had, almost had, want,
=)

But, of course i must protect the notion of there being 'the one'.

Ultimately, if you have any wiff of romance in you,
you will convince yourself that when we make a choice,
it is determined by destiny.

Self delusion?

No.

Romantic.

Yes.

Haha, guess ultimately, none of this matters,
just gotta be true to whatever feelings that develop,
whether they have been...
carefully constructed,
sub consciously fabricated
or entirely spontaneous.

What's the use of finding out?
Hahaz.
^_^

So there is the one out there for me.
=P

Memoirs of a geisha

2006-01-21T20:08:00.000+10:30

Story of a girl
who found out that life is not as beautiful as it seems,
but help is always around the corner.
Somehow, didn't think that the movie protrayed
the emptiness she found in her plight,
Fairies tales don't exist,
i guess it's best we keep both feets firmly on the ground,
and not to self delude ourself into a fantasy world,
so that we do not have to one day make too many sacrifices,
such that we lose ourselves.
Life may not always be filled with happiness,
but who says we can't stop looking?
=)

Time

2006-01-19T19:15:00.000+10:30

We'll always have time for the things that matter,
we'll never have time for the things that do not.

I remember

2006-01-18T22:04:00.000+10:30

Once in melbourne,
when i was going back from school,
i felt like eating bak kwa,
new year seemed so far away,
it's here soon though,
so fast,
so fast.

=)

2006-01-18T02:55:00.000+10:30

Glad you liked it.

Iz it?

2006-01-17T12:59:00.000+10:30

Is difficult to describe how i feel of life now,
hmmmz,
not sad,
not stressed,
on the contary,
i do feel rather relaxed,
but there's just this tinge of sadness
and lack of emotions, emptiness,
that seems to be dwelling deep within,
such that a gloss comes over evreything,
not overly happy,
not overly sad,
not overly enthusiastic,
not overly hopeful,
it's weird.
I do feel alright,
rather at peace too,
but somehow at the same time,
it feels like,
i'm a broken toy,
still working,
but running down.
Sometimes at night I'll imagine myself dying,
and imagine how people will remember me,
dying's not scary,
not living is.

=(

2006-01-17T03:31:00.000+10:30

Sad.

Lost my phone

2006-01-17T01:42:00.000+10:30

Lost my phone,
all my contacts gone!
=(
*Ultimate gloom*
Currently... home number 64456632...
If my phone is up... will post here.
=(

One word

2006-01-16T14:36:00.000+10:30

To describe life now,
comfy,
it's just so slack and relax right now,
hahaz,
nothing immenent to worry about,
no pressure from studies,
chillz.
I will miss this =P
Been busy improving my driving skills,
learning how to cook,
thinking of things to buy so that next sem will be
more relaxed.
Well,
guys do the planning and girls do the spending.
Ain't that true?
=P

Doors

2006-01-16T14:02:00.000+10:30

Doors to be opened,
doors to be closed,
decisions, decisions,
how shall it go?

Huh?

2006-01-15T23:26:00.000+10:30

The past is over,
the future is yet to come.
Why worry over what was,
or what might be?
Let it go a lil easier,
anticipate a lil less,
be a little kinder on yourself,
and everything will turn out fine.

Truth

2006-01-14T01:03:00.000+10:30

True to your friends,
true to your family,
true to your beliefs,
true to your heart,
true to all you love,
true to yourself.

But we're humans,
if we're not binded by bonds
of friendship,
or kinship,
if we have no resposibility,
no sense of righteousness,
no sense of justice,
no sense of loyalty,
no regards of others,
if we fail to gain the trust of others,
if we deceive and con,
if we only look out for ourselves,

What makes us any different from any animal we see?

We lead a life,
of unseen expectations,
of unspoken promises,
take it,
and love it,
or reject it,
and loathe it,
either way,
it is still yours.
Treasure it.

For the guys

2006-01-13T00:12:00.000+10:30

From the 9pm show again,
if you've made a promise to a friend to keep a secret,
and being honest to the person you love means breaking your promise,
what would you do?
Sounds like a lose lose situation.

On another hand,
next time someone approaches you with a questionaire,
don't be a faggot and take evasive actions,
walk straight, look the person in the eye and say no thanks.
It works,
hahaz, try it.

Close your eyes

2006-01-12T15:47:00.000+10:30

And take a rest.
I find that when i close my eyes,
i tend to formulate worries,
my mind starts to wander when it's dark.
Whenever i close my eyes now,
and my mind starts to drift,
i'll tell myself not to formulate worries,
cutting it off before it can take root,
I like the rain,
the weather's cool and i'm not sticky all over,
and it's this grey gloom that we know will be lifted,
a constant reminder to myself that whatever
gloom will eventually be lifted,
and whilst it's still raining,
there is no rason to be down.

They say

2006-01-12T11:00:00.000+10:30

That if u think of someone long and hard enough,
the person can feel it,
may that be even half true.
=)

These nights

2006-01-10T15:09:00.000+10:30

As i lay and toss around in bed,
i have so many thoughts running through my head,
and especially in the past few nights,
with my incessant coughing,
it's been impossbible to get to sleep,
and there are so many things i feel like
i need to do, need to say, need to write down...
Hardly know where i should start,
probably this gonna be a very long post,
to some interesting confessions hahaz.

Shall start off by thanking some of the friends
i met in the army for changing my perception of life.
I mean i do not have much recollections of my army
days, and truth is... I've never felt i could
connect with everyone fully, i mean usually you guys
help me more than i help you all, and i've always
felt no one is someone i would bare my soul to,
it has always felt the the things that i place concern
and emphasis on isn't the same as the things you guys
focus on.
Wellz, 2 years onz, the interaction changed a lil,
truth is, in hindsight, i think evreyone that I have met has touched
me in some way or other, and changed me into the person
i am now.
Like andy for example, always so willing to help others,
to the point that everyone was 'taking advantage' of you
in some way or another, and you're so willing and
enthusiastic to the point everyone takes you for granted.
Well, thanks for all the favours you have done me, hahaz,
like scanning my 11b for brekkie, helping us get the off pass signed,
well, it's the little things that count,
and i know you do it out of goodness of your heart.
And that's the way i believe it should be,
and i find myself doing things for people more naturally,
like it's just coming out of your heart,
and when you take away the motive and intentions away,
the joy will come when you make someone else happy,
and not when you receive any favours back.
So andy, hahaz, glad you exempliflied this over the years i met you. =P

You know, we can meet so many kinds of friends in our lives,
and i feel we can classify them into 4 basic categories,
1. Those that would help you if you ask them
2. Those that would help you after they've deliberated that they
have the time and resources
3. Those that would help you if there's something in it for them,
whether to impress, repaying a favour... just some agenda
4. Those that would help you unconditionally

I msut admit i am all kinds of friends to the people around me,
it just happens, and these categories are defeintely not mutually exclusive.
You know, i only wish i was more of a class 4 friend to more people around me,
but is it possible to give and give without getting tired at any point?
Probably a yes,
but probably something not easily attainable as well.

Hmmm, moving on, ermm... looks!
i must admit that i do rather feel insecure with my looks, =( ,
hahaz, and i really do hate my complexion.
i mean i KNOW it bothers me quite a bit,
but i realise i do have a lot of more important things to worry about
sometimes, and that kind of takes away my attention.
Hmmm, how do i describe best how i feel?
Ahh, like you have a perpatual niggling injury that you can't shake off,
something that constantly reminds you it's there.
Speaking of which,
I've decided to go do a chemical peel again sometime next week,
hopefully there'll be some improvement though i know it's gonna be minute,
hahaz, and i'll prob be just doing nothing at home for about maybe a week.
Well, insecurities, I'm sure everyone has them,
I have mine too, not that I'm being candid,
but wellz, perhaps the first step to overcoming them... is to face them
more openly.

And i must admit, i do judge people i've met for the first times by
their looks, i mean.. it's just something that i think we cannot change.
We critically appraise people we see, and much as we do not want to admit
it, attraction to looks is still very much a factor, however small
it might have dwindled to,
when we get smitten by someone's elses looks,
you know,
your beliefs, opinions, perceptions of the person will be altered,
even to the point we do not want to admit to ourselves that it has,
and attraction, emotions, feelings of love, they can be all
so strong when we experience it for the first time,
to the point where everyone of us have vastly different beliefs
that we cling on to depending on what we've experienced in
our own lives.
There will never be a right and wrong,
because faith is blind,
and love is blind,
the person compromising oneself so much in the name of love
might be a much happier person than you think,
the person in love could seem to be oblivious to
a lot of things but who is to say the person is unhappy.
Perhaps, perhaps,
the best thing to do is to let everyone figure out their own lives,
cause for whatever good and bad that might happen to them,
at least they will feel like they're in control of their own destiny.
It is impossible to bear self grudge for too long,
for there is everything to gain and nothing to lose.
Is it so?
Maybe.
Caught this quote from the 9pm show on channel 8,
'it is very easy to recognise what someone is good for,
but alot of courage and resignation to recognise someone's flaws.'
Hmmmz, true?

I remember my first crush. It was what people would call
love at first sight. I mean, I understand how it feels.
Strange it would be that you would set your eyes on someone,
and you just start having those weird fluffy feelings,
someone who you have seen for the first time in your life,
someone whom you do not even know.
Up till now, i still remember where i first 'met' her,
it's a weird thing,
impression and memories,
some memories might be so much better, but we lose them,
but we never quite lose our first few impressions of love,
even though there probably was nothing there.
It takes a lot to know someone, how can we love someone
we do not know? Even if we think we know, how much do we know?
One can hardly say it is possible to know anyone else
like the palm of their hands,
wells, unless they display some kind of telepathy to me.
Hahaz.
I remember when there was a time
where glances and looks mean so much,
and there was a thrill in just seeing someone move,
where you observe someone's behaviour around you
and start formulating theories,
i remember a time where i was even too shy to talk to a girl,
i remember a time where someone could leave me tongue tied,
or make me blush the crimsomest red....
Well, that was a long time back,
probably a lot of things wouldn't mean as much to me now,
perhaps individually i feel i've seen a lot,
the same as everyone else,
but i guess there's still a hell lot of things i have not learned,
so it is best to live life with a very open mind.
Perhaps i've mellowed,
but there are so many things that only time could tell,
even what i think is right, what i believe,
i might never find the answer to them.
=P

Relationships... i must admit, it would be nice to have one,
i mean having someone there with a unspoken promise is a great thing.
Perhaps relationships should be kept a simple thing, i realise
that though i've never been in one, i realise i have thoughts that
might complicate things, especially insecurites about oneself.
It would be great if one day, a 'simple' relationship would come along,
i've modified this quote,
"We are equal in a relationship, just that you will be more equal than
i am. "
hahaz, that shall be my motto.

I believe love is most beautiful thing in the world,
and that there is no one person in the world that can be more beautiful
tha love itself, though i said earlier that attraction may be influenced
by looks, there are many other things else,
and none of that matters when you're in love.
Truthfully,
no physical changes can alter how beautiful the person is in your heart.
I think I'm a very emotional person, if i've decided to do anything,
i will be totally passionate abt it.
Some people say you can only love someone else if you're complete,
i choose to believe that love is what completes 2 individual,
individually, no one will ever be complete or strong enough,
even the most confident person,
needs his/her other half to feel whole.

i know this is very much a mindset thing, perhaps penning down this post
means more to myself than to anyone that might be reading it.

Last thing is... i must admit melbourne is a very lonely place,
in a way it's like being sent to the army,
just that this time it's my choice,
i'm doing something that i want to,
and I'll cope much better than i did the other time round.
You know, it would be such a pity that after five or six years
i still feel distant from everyone,
well, for a start, maybe i should pay more attention to the people around me,
"listen with both ears, and speak with my heart more often".
Though i must say, the last year has been rather amazing,
and there's nothing that i have done that i would have changed...

Such a random and long post, probably lost some of the meaning
due to my inadequate vocabulary, hahaz! =P
Any, for now so it is, my post-reflections at age 21, 2 and a half month latez.

May the coming year be a great one for everyone.
*naggy me*
There's only one thing i like about Liverpool FC,
go figure...
Winner gets a big prize.
=P

Just wondering..thinking...speculating..hahaz

2006-01-10T02:15:00.000+10:30

In a few years time probably a few people will disappear from my life,
i mean... our relationship with everyone around us is constantly evolving,
probably threads of some old friendship will be broken,
and new ones will be forged,
and when the people disappear from your life,
all you will have are the memories of them.
So heys everyone,
pause a moment with whatever you are doing,
and take a mental picture of the people you know,
remember them for how they are in your own special way,
cause you will never know the future holds,
and when you'll never see them again.
When you lose someone you don't want to lose,
don't be too sad too,
perhaps we din have the choice,
or it was influenced by circumstances,
or the timing was wrong,
whatever it is,
what matters is what we want to do now.
Someone asked me today,
what do you mean by living your own life?
Life is about ....
chasing your dreams?
chasing your beliefs?
chasing ideals?
chasing happiness?
chasing novelty?
chasing beauty?
Not really,
but chasing your heart....
Where do we all put our hearts?
When we put it in the wrong place,
we will never find happiness,
when we let it float around,
we will always feel empty,
when we do not dare to listen to what our own heart says,
we will always suffer.
So again,
take some time off,
search and listen to yourself,
do what can be done,
and try your very best to succeed,
let fate decide the rest...
Perhaps at the end of the day,
it's not about getting what we want,
but wanting what we've got.
Sounds like a 'resigned' attitude to face life,
but it's kinda true,
we never stop wanting things,
it's good when we get what we want...
but inevitably we will miss out on some,
if we look too much into what we cannot get,
then perhaps we might have lost our way in life.....
The unhappiest man is the one who has the most unfulfiled
wants,
the happiest man is the one who has the least unfulfiled wants.

It's kinda sad to think that life holds so much uncertainties,
our paths may converge now,
but who knows where this winding road leads?
Probably in the near future no one's gonna 'disappear' from my life,
but life's fragile for anything to happen,
on another note,

i fear i have forgotten what it is like to be living for myself anymore,
but there's just like lesser and lesser things that i feel passionate about,
well,
shrugs,
perhaps thats the way i'm suppose to lead my life,
not that i feel unhappy or anything,
on the contary,
I guess this is how it is meanigful for me.

Such a long post,
I'm sure there might be some point where i have contradicted myself,
hahaz,
well to all my current friends,
if we do lose touch in the future,
direct me back to this post,
and may it reignite our friendship.
Lol.

A blessed life to all.
^_^

Food for thought

2006-01-09T22:23:00.000+10:30

What's the point of comparing,
especially if it's something we cannot change.
If we always try to change things,
even those that might not be within our control,
sometimes we try to change people,
and sometimes we try to accommodate them,
but ultimately it is that,
there are too many things in life we cannot beat.
I'm not saying we should always 'relax one corner' and be passive,
stand up for the right things and for the people that matters,
have enough drive and passion in the things that matters,
and let go of the things we cannot change,
and let go of the things that will cause ourselves to be consumed,
what good is a life without our own self identity and beliefs,
a life that we compromise too much for somebody else.
Just my belief,
but the bottomline is,
have respect for everyone around you,
show it... and do it.
It is impossible to find any 2 individual with exactly the same
passion and beliefs,
what is important is to find peoples who will complement you,
and make yourself...
feel like yourself.
Don't lose yourself peeps,
love ya all for the way you all arez.
*winkz*

^_^

When

2006-01-08T17:31:00.000+10:30

we plan too far ahead, sometimes we miss out on what is going to
happen from now till then.
It's good to have ambition, plans, goals and drive,
on another hand it's not good to be too focused on them.
Life has so many aspects,
we can't excel in every aspects,
we can't satisfy ourselves with what we want,
sometimes we spend so much time and effort chasing something,
and we let it consume ourself.
Life cannot be measured as being good or bad,
good things happen,
bad things happen,
sometimes we get the things we want,
sometimes we lose the things we do not want to lose,
out of the millions and billions of people in the world,
we only get to meet a selected few,
and even then we'll only get to know a few of them very well.
What is 'our' life,
wouldn't have any meaning without the people around us,
without the things around us.
Life changes,
perhaps it would not be good to view things as losses and gains,
because there are essentially so little things within our control,
and even for something within our control,
we might not do it well.
Everyone feels insecure in some ways,
because there are so many benchmarks and ideals that we match up to,
we want so many things,
to look good,
to be rich,
to find love,
to be intelligent,
to be successful,
stability,
wealth,
and we won't stop at being satisfied with some of these dreams,
there's always something else that we will want at any time,
when we find ourself 'wanting' more and more things,
we also find ourself getting more and more miserable.

Perhaps it would be great for the new year to tell myself this,
my new year resolution is,
i want nothing for myself,
and everything for the people around me.

p.s to everyone i know: U guys gotta want something, if not we'll all
end up a bunch of stoners. ;^P

Perhaps then,
when we don't go out seeking to please ourselves too much,
especially with the things we cannot get,
we'll find more satisfaction and meaning.

Whatever will come will come,
there's no need to avoid or seek too hard.

Another thought....bout..waiting.
I have friends that are always late, but i am a friend that is always always late too. =P
It's all bout faith and patience, and finding things to preoccupy ourselves in between.
Faith, in our friends to keep their promise, to know that they will come.
Patience, to not get angry while waiting.
And finding the right things to do in between.
Some people have a lot of faith, some people have a lot of patience.
Some people have no faith, and even less patience.
But one thing for sure,
if the person is your friend,
you shouldn't be late in the first place,
especially if the person means anything to you.

Schools starting in a month,
in the meantime,
I'll take some time and smell the roses.

-_-

2006-01-08T01:42:00.000+10:30

Cough cough.

Zzzzz

2006-01-06T15:54:00.000+10:30

Energy low.
Not feeling too wellz...
Hahaz not everyday can be a good day.
=/

Elizabethtown

2006-01-05T22:15:00.000+10:30

We're always the substitute people.
When will we know we're not?
Aloha.
Hi or goodbye?

Life

2006-01-05T15:01:00.000+10:30

Is missing something.
Somehow i feel at peace,
but i dun want to risk feeling empty one day.
Hmmmz...

I know what pp are going to say.
God.
Love.

Is it?

Tired

2006-01-05T03:44:00.000+10:30

Out whole day... talked non stop.
hahaz.
Every outing nowadays is turning into a cafe sit down and talk session.
Grow old = Must sit down relax one corner
Anyway, am quite tired,
update soon,
peace,
find some of it everyone.

Hmmmmm

2006-01-04T03:22:00.000+10:30

Close your eyes and you will see clearly,
cease to listen and you'll hear the truth.
Try it,
clear your thoughts,
and may peace of the heart comes.

Eeeeeeee...

2006-01-03T13:58:00.000+10:30

Spent the morning at NTUC,
bought groceries and a whole chicken,
and the rest of the morning dissecting it,
and removing the grim from my hands.
Well, things i learned today,
1. Follow the aunties.. in terms of what they do
2. Hens are preferred over roosters
3. Don't count on your sister hahaz

Reflections

2006-01-02T20:27:00.000+10:30

And the passing of the old,
can't say i have any regrets for the yeear that has passed,
on the contary i had many nice memories from it,
far more than any i had in the recent years.
It wasn't the easiest of years,
and i think it would be fair to say whatever i have done i have tried my best,
and however i felt could have been done otherwise does not matter now.
Think it's true fair to say everyone must have felt wronged at some pt in their life,
and has probably felt they have moved on,
and it's so true that we only know if we've moved on when something triggers off something along that path.
Many of us are more afraid of failure, pain and hurt then we actually know,
and we set up all kinds of defenses and lead our live in a way to minimise
the likelihood of experiencing all these.
Perhaps the easiest way to accept losses is to accept it's inevitability in many cases,
even if something could have been done,
the sacrifice might have been so big to derail our lives,
without guarantee of what it might bring us.
Wellz, guess postulation is what we introverts does best.
(Haz.. with introverts defined as a person who learns and matures best through constant delibiration and thinking internally)
Hahz... i've veered off what i was suppose to be blogging about.

Well,
perhaps it's good to believe that things happen when you're least looking for it,
and when we seek too hard for something we'll always lose it in the end.

ANyway... new year, have wished everyone well.
Just hope that i'll not have any regrets in the year to come,
and let a alot of life's event take it's course.
More importantly,
i hope to find some inner peace,
and hopefully i'll be share it with the pp around me.

It's so fast....the years going by.
21 now.
If i have kids by 30,
that's in 9 years time.
9 years iz not a long way away... marriage might even be earlier.
Probably in a couple of years,
we'll have our first wave of friends getting married,
(probably the NUS med pp, hahaz, almost all housemen are married )
So that's my first wedding dinner coming up in...
3 years time?
Omg.
Life passes by so quickly.

Have i been guilty of being unappreciative of whatevre has passes me by?

It would not be right to say that I'm scared.
I just hate the feeling of stepping into the near future with so much apprehensiveness.

New year

2006-01-01T04:55:00.000+10:30

Was reading Men's health... rather interesting magazine i should say.
Of which i shall extract 2 paragraphs from.
1. Reader's feedback on a article abt getting over someone.
When you heart is broken, there's really no logic about it and all you want to do is wallow and wish for her back. But at some point in time, the wallowing must stop and life must go on. It's really just a matter of time, and also reading the right magazines.

2.Another short paragraph. Or advice.
Stay focused on loving and preotecting the people in your life,
and it's mind over what matters.

So true, its 230am le, gotta sleep soon,
new year's day kinda like the best day in the year... a fresh start for many things in life, and with it the hope for many things to be set right.

One day next time, would love to spend new year's eve with a loved one in a faraway place, and just have a private countdown to the new year.

Dreams... hopes... maybe one day they'll be reality, for now they'll let me know i'm still alive.

Shall end off the post.. too tiredz le..

No one likes to be alone,
no one is equipped to live and fight alone,
camaradie, friendship, companionship, love,
tells us we're alive,
glad to have met everyone that has passed by my life,
i wish everyone well from the bottom of my heart,
in the quiet of this new year's day night.

Poei.
^_^

A man has to be greater than just himself

2005-12-31T03:42:00.000+10:30

Saw a man who got really with her daughter who stopped at the escalator for a while,
he seemed to be in a pretty bad mood,
but heys c'mon...
she's just a kid, I'm sure she din mean it.
Wells, a man should be greater than his temper,
in fact, a man should be greater than himself,
shouldn't let your frustrations, personal or work boil over onto others.
To be a man is to be able to put other needs on top of your own,
to be able to handle your own problems and not affect others if it's within your control,
pity the kids with bad parents.
And a great person is one who put others above self,
especially when it truely matters,
people make "sacrifices" everyday,
may the cause be worthy of the act.

=(
If i had a magic wand, i would make everyone 'good'.
Hehs, but als, everyone has bits of everything in them,
even the most confident person has insecurities,
i have loads,
and i have this whiny side which is constantly being exposed on my blog.
=(
Hahaz.

To choose between charming, nice or pretty( or shuai)

Weird i suddenly came up with a thought like that.
Happened when i met this driving instructor that was super duper smooth, somehow i just felt super at ease talking to him,
and he managed to make me feel so good about myself, and i was so convinced by everything he said about my driving.
Turns out that he's stayed a while in melbourne, is a medic and his wife's a nurse,
....he was just super good with words... i would say charming... not in the gayish sense but you know..
the type that makes good conversations and can make you believe anything.
I'm sure he must have his way with girls. =P
Anyways, to choose from the 3, which you would be most attracted by.
Say,
1. Charming.
Would make you feel super good about yourself, you would believe whatever they say, of course the person would be nice( how can he be bad when he's so good with words? ). But not very shuai.

2. Super duper nice.
But not very charming or very shuai. Generally does not converse excellently, does not look excellent, just does nice things.

3. Drop dead gorgeous. Need i say more? Usually when they're drop dead gorgeous, the love at first sight type, they are usually charming and nice too no matter what the truth is. Lets just assume they are normal people.

So... no baddies here.
Option 1, 2 and 3 are all good people.
Which one would you think you'd be most attracted to?

Hahaz, i was thinking, if i were to pick, it would be 1.
Cause it's one thing for pp tobe nice to me... but i find sometimes i really don't know how to react to the act of kindness or nicety, and it might make me feel awkward.
Words do have a amazing way of working people's mind. I dun admit that if someone was super good with words, i would be very consoled and inspired, and it would spur me on to do 'greater things' with my life.
Maybe the attraction wouldn't last, but wells nothing beats a having a headstart.
Think i am beyond the love at first sight aka crush stage le.
Wellz, i could be wrong
=X

hahaz, crappy post, it's getting latez, can't sleep, heads heavy.

Sorry for the whiny post.
=P

Nostalgia

2005-12-30T11:57:00.000+10:30

It was cool meeting up with so many people last night,
first my class and then melbourne friends.
Haven't really seen either group of people in a while,
so had a rather great time cathcing up.
Not to mention it was my first time meeting all the "melbgaporeans",
haha, yeah you're all the same,
just that i suppose we assume different roles and responsibilites
here, and probably different cicles of friends.
Come to think of it,
this last year has really passed by so fast,
and as xing ning pointed out,
we only have 1.5 more years of studying in the uni left,
2/5 of the way through,
and then perhaps it's time to start missing being part of
school, classes and huge lectures.
And of course the inevitable fact that i'll see less of
some of the melb med pp.. =(
I must say,
life moves on rather quickly,
probably in a few more years time,
it wouldn't be so much blogging abt studying anymore...
Most people said i look different, probably they meant fairer,
even the hairdresser asked if i was 'mixed blood', or japanese,
wells,
people change on the outside,
but not on the inside.
Many things, we think we know,
many people, we think we know,
just like the game of FHM cards we played,
we think we see everyone for what they have,
and we compare,
but we can't see for ourselves what we have,
but we still try to compare,
that's when.... forfeit happens!
Lol.
To alot of people,
loss IS the most difficult thing to grapple with in life,
just don't let it grapple hold of your life.

Nostalgia

2005-12-29T12:20:00.000+10:30

A hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I've saw your pretty face

A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same

But all the miles had separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face

This week

2005-12-28T12:35:00.000+10:30

This week has gone by rather quickly...
As I laid in bed last night,
suddenly i started to feel that perhaps we all actually do not
have as many things in our life as we make ourself to have.
Sometimes we might feel that we have many friends,
but in the end only a few friendships are going to be the ones that last,
and needs the least maintenance.
Think essentially evreyone will only have a few close friends,
not just because I feel close to them,
but more of we never growing apart even after so many years.
It's just not possible to be so close to everyone,
especially as we grow older,
everyone tends to become more individualistic,
and take care only of the ones that are closest to them.
I mean i look at my parents, I'm sure they don't have as wide a circile
of contacts as i have during say...secondary school.
It's probably a mutual thing..
where if you feel that you're grown up enough, you probably gotta
learn to look after yourself and rely less on others.
Perhaps thats the way life is.
Looking back,
perhaps I've been chasing things too hard,
and wanting too many things,
no point wearing oneself out too badly,
though in hindsight, i probably would still have done the same things.
Well hahaz,
bottomline is,
hold dear what you have,
cause that's all that matters.

We will...

2005-12-25T22:14:00.000+10:30

Things happen when you least expect them too,
everything happens for a reason,
seek your own truth,
cause that's the only way you will find it.

Just a lil more

2005-12-25T01:20:00.000+10:30

There are some things which i suddenly miss a lot......

It was an interesting day

2005-12-25T00:34:00.000+10:30

Just back from friend's party, well,
if it could be called one. =P
Anyway, thought the story/speech was really interesting,
point she was trying to drive across was the love of/for God is
the only fulfiling and everlasting love in anyone's life.
Way she went about it was rather nice though,
of love, hope and faith,
something about faith being the hope of things
that have not come,
and that love never fails, ( of God )
and the festive season is a season of love.
What she said about there being a emptiness in everyone's heart
was quite true,
and that we all feel lonely at times,
a inner void that we all seek to fill with love, family, friends, material comforts,
we have all kinds of needs,
and in the end everything disappoints,
your love for anyone or anything eventually disappears and leaves you disappointed,
except the love of God.
Which everyone I'm sure might agree to some extend,
that whatever passion and excitement of something new always seem to die out,
and in the end you always seem to end up with nothing much more.
But no, that's when i kinda believe otherwise,
that i know that one day my love for someone will not die,
and that i will find someone who will love me equally back,
it's not from the fact that i seem to forget and let go of things slower,
but i know i am capable of loving someone forever,
(wells unless the person changes drastically to someone i cannot understand anymore, or that love is not requited...),
just to find someone to share your life with,
someone you can share your happiness and sadness with,
wells,
i can give up my life for love... why not?
Wells, love for someone cannot be perfect,
I'm sure life cannot be perfect,
but what's the point of making everything so perfect?
We have just to accept that life can never be perfectly happy,
it is not to say good things don't last and everything disappoints,
why don't we look at the bad things and say that bad things do not last
as well?
Life can be tough,
life can be empty,
life can be lonely,
life can be a huge struggle,
but life can be happy too.
Life is just a mixture of everything,
take everything as it comes,
we all have different paths and routes,
we all do not know where it leads,
so,
best wishes for everyone out there to find someone to share your life with,
and accept that in a life
where people disappoint and happiness seem to disappear,
we'll also come to find people and new happiness to come,
it's just what we want to focus on.
^_^
Cheers everyone,
and all readers of my blog,
in good spirit we shall kick start the festive season,
and hopefully have a great life too.
(With love, faith and hope)
~*

A time

2005-12-24T17:01:00.000+10:30

Life is a time to spend with the ones close at heart.
i think essentially we're all just spirits/souls.
Half of it we keep within our living shell,
half we leave in someone else's heart.
It's all about where we are.
If love is a game,
I'm not a player.
=P
Lol, sorry for all these nonsensical posts,
I blog funny!
^_^

Few words to describe myself

2005-12-24T13:39:00.000+10:30

Low energy
Quiet
Low lying
Boring
Lost
Clueless

Another kope from somewhere...

2005-12-22T17:12:00.000+10:30

There are times when life will let you down
With questions but no answers found
While on the hills a life has drowned
While in the skies one hits the ground

In sadness we fight greater fears
Laughter cries with solemn tears
No chance to walk the road once more
To seek the heavens we once sought for

Yet life though bitter is never too unkind
Truth she respects though she plays with the mind
One door may be closed but she leaves a key
For us to seek another wherever it may be

A lighthouse in the distance where darkness seeps
A kind soul at the door where someone weeps
A chance to see glory in the face of trial
A simple perfect moment to make life worthwhile

There are times when life will let you down
With no answers but more questions found
If only we could see through the shades of pain
That we would not know sunshine without the rain

Never cease to amaze

2005-12-20T20:08:00.000+10:30

Talking to my friend always gives me things to blog.
Hahaz.
I shall quote..
"RI guys are the good guys, but we always end up as the losers."
Lol.
It's come to my conclusion that people our generation are
emotional,
in the pessimistic way.
Perhaps it's the age.
A relationship, a complement of friendship and romance.
More of which?
Friendship lasts forever, how long does passionate romance last?
Is it always there?
It takes a spark to start a fire,
but do we reignite the fire of friendship or that of romance?
When the right chemistry happens,
we will know it.
Chemsitry is complicated,
but when you get it right,
you get it right.
Thinking too much is a bad thing.
We can convince ourself to feel.
What of emotions then?
Sometimes we feel,
and then we think,
and then life is a big complicated web.
Well, kai xin jiu hao.
But what does it take to be happy?
Peace.
A meaning.
And puting your eggs in different baskets?
Maybe.
I wouldn't know.
=P

Falling into perspective...

2005-12-20T02:25:00.000+10:30

I think we'd like to know that we have an alternative, an option in the things we do,
when making seemingly important decisions, we'd want to have options so that we can 'make the right decision.'
Perhaps if we come to realise that sometimes, perhaps we did not have an option in the first place, and that we did not really have a choice, it is easier to take things into acceptance.
It is true that it's much more comforting to know that we maintain control over our own lives, and we make the decisions regarding our own lives.
To the point that we might become rebellious when we do not seem to be presented with a choice, to feel a certain degree of dissent because we seem to have lost the basic power.. decision making.
Sometimes we feel helpless, lost, sad, angry over things that happens to us, because of what other people have done.
Guess we should come to realise,
what we have of our life is what we have right now at any point in time,
not the things we might have lost,
not the things we would like to gain,
there are things we can change,
there are decisions we can make,
but there are also things we cannot change,
decisions that are not ours to make,
put things into perspective,
and come to realise that what you have,
if all that matters,
and all that you need.

Vibes

2005-12-18T12:08:00.000+10:30

Stupidity is an option, not a virtue.

Beauty

2005-12-15T16:34:00.000+10:30

It is all about finding a connection.

King kong

2005-12-14T20:51:00.000+10:30

Absolutely loved the show.
Was so brilliantly filmed,
and so very simple yet touching.
One particular scene stands out,
"The simplest things are often the most beautiful,
but sometimes we just search too hard,
and we fail to appreciate life's beauty"
.
So many touching and meaningful notions the movie brings across,
shouldn't spoil it,
.
Feel so much more alive afer watching the movie,
hold on to it tight when it's there,
appreciate it when it's yours to keep,
and when it's lost... let it go.
.
Don't search too hard.....

Kae

2005-12-13T22:51:00.000+10:30

Hmmm, talking to my friend has helped me come to terms with something
that has been bothering me, not directly by anything he told me, but by
some self achknowlegment.
.
"The most important thing is to be able to confront yourself first."
.
Something intersting courtesy of boon,
when we were in jc, we were carnal, we lusted
after people.
now that we are older, we tend to be more emotional, and then we end up thinking and thinking abt things and implications alot,
we tend to be more cautious, and we want to be sure we're ready and the person is
te right one.
.
Maybe everyone is more similar then it seems.
.
Anywayz, i've done some thinking,
am glad i am clearer.
^_^
.
Well, at least it seems i think i am right,
who is to know?
Only time will tell i guess...

Love each day

2005-12-12T19:41:00.000+10:30

This life is what we've got,
this time is what we have,
life,
busy or slack,
happy or sad,
better or worse,
cherish it,
let your love be pure,
and not wait for loss as a precedence to appreciation.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

2005-12-12T13:31:00.000+10:30

People are so complicated.
It's not easy to understand a lot of peope,
much less to be understood.

Walk the talk

2005-12-12T03:47:00.000+10:30

All talk and no action does not make a man.
Excuses are for the uncommitted ones.

Just so memory

2005-12-11T12:24:00.000+10:30

I must say,
I don't think i remember events in my life particularly well,
maybe that's why i blog.
Just read my blog,
sure brings back memories,
maybe in a few years time...
I would have forgotten what i was blogging about,
what a great pity that would be.
Sometimes things happen quickly,
sometimes things happen slowly,
sometimes things disappear quickly,
sometimes things disappear slowly,
sometimes we're happy,
sometimes we're sad,
perhaps we should pay more attention to the sometimes in our life,
i mean..
it's only sometimes that it happens...
not everytime,
right?

Just a thought......

2005-12-10T23:09:00.000+10:30

Don't we all wish,
there was someone we could bare our innermost thoughts to?
Is it when the right person comes along?
Or is it when we're ourselves ready to face up to our innermost self?

Starry nights

2005-12-09T13:12:00.000+10:30

In life,
it's the little things that matters the most,
it's the tinest details that counts the most,
it's the smallest touch that means the most,
sometimes,
we just gotta take the hint,
can't be blind to the truth forever.

I mean..this is what we are?

2005-12-08T23:37:00.000+10:30

Friend commented that my blog is so random and abstract, guess it is,
but to me it makes perfect sense, and i don't suppose it'll be
perfectly clear to anyone except myself, i guess..
emotions are best understood by oneself.
And it's so true, that we all have things kept so deep within oneself that
even we might not want/dare to face it.
Think everyone has these inner feelings that even oneself is
afraid to face,
i mean we're all living in some kind of self-delusion at some level or another.
Sometimes these thoughts might turn out to be so foolish if we actually
piursue them,
who knows what they will turn out to be,
and many times the consequences are not what we can afford,
but we just cannot let them go....
I think the truely confident and happy person is one who can face
up most to himself and be enitrely clear on what he wants to achieve
and hopes to have in his life.
Things in life can be dreams, wilful fantasies, fact,
fiction, hopes, maybes,
the million dollar question is
"What do we allow ourself to believe?"
"What we think we know" is something that can be horribly wrong,
and
"What we think we want"
can be another question we never dare face up.
Well, perhaps life is really about finding compromise, striking
balances, to have the least regrets, and move on with your
decisions.
After all, there's no turning back time.

On another note,
the NEWPAPER never fails to amaze me.
There was actually this whole article on leptin,
and it was a pretty good one at how injecting leptin/ having leptin supplements
actually help people who are on diet to substain their weight loss.
Cools.
And was nice to see the section on "Babe of the year and Dude of the year"
Why?
Well, for one Dawn Yeo was featured... That was kinda cool...
Feel sad that her situation has become quite bad, i mean with all the
negative publicity, I would be finding life a lil difficult as well.
And for the guy section, there was a write up for this guy, Howard Lo.
He is really... quite sad.
Yeah... the "Eye for a Guy" guy.
He's like really quite suay to start off with.
Like he did everything possible to win Denise Keller's heart,
i mean ... he prob would have won hands down if it was a voting show,
but he had to finsh second because Denise Keller eventually pick
Wolfgang who was much more blessed in the looks department.
Well, this Howard fella, I must admit do look abit... "faggoty", i
dunno that's how i feel, but still.. he's quite sad la....
But i guess,
he was the one who should had gone for plastic surgery,
cause the bottom line is,
looks do matter,
whether you're a guy or a girl.
No one wants to be known as being superficial,
but alas,
how many of us is not?
I'm not doubting,
and there are so many nice relationships out there who are obviously not
base on looks,
just that,
you can either seek to be the
perfect couple
or have the
perfect relationship
One can only be optimistic and hope for both...
Well, take some time and think about it,
and don't be so quick to pick the latter,
after all,
we want to be able to face up to our innermost self,
don't we all?

On a stormy night

2005-12-08T22:46:00.000+10:30

cools..had our first night with the wind howling and rain pouring...
Makes you feel warm and protected when you cuddle up in bed,
and think that everyone else you know are probably doing the same thing,
well... possibly.. it's a nice thought.
Like keeping warm in cold weather..especially when you
can feel all fuzzy inside.
Me = no life
hahaz, everyday just have random thoughts.
If everything in life comes your way,
then what is the meaning of achievement.
Oh and jem, like your msn nick hahaz
'do or do not, there is no try'

If

2005-12-08T03:47:00.000+10:30

If life is not happy,
at least make it meaningful.
How long can meaningful last?
What is meaning without happiness,
and what is happiness without anyone to share with?
Melbourne and singapore,
where am I?
Adapting could be one of the most challenging thing in my life thus far.
On another note,
sigh even if it's true,
there's nothing i can do....
Grim and bare it...

I'm decided

2005-12-08T03:12:00.000+10:30

I'm going to put an end to this mundane existence i call life,
playing computer games and brooding at home all day is unbecoming.
From now on,
will go market buy groceries,
cook lunch and dinner,
do some reading of notes and hit the gym,
catch up with friends,
hahaz, must aim to be domesticated, studious and social at the same time,
next time must provide well and take care of family.
On another note, been sourcing out nice gifts,
as well as thinking about ways to decorating my room/place,
can't wait till i have my own place and family hahaz.
Sometimes, it seems i'm evolving my life around something that doesn't exist,
wellz,
i don't suppose there's enough things to take care of in my own life atm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear blog,
Sorry to having put up with all my musings, thoughts, complains, confessions and ramblings.
You're like the friend i never had,
and talking to you relives some of the tension i keep inside myself sometimes,
sigh,
I'm how loser.
Bloggie,
you don't judge me,
you listen to me,
you won't get angry at me,
*muacks*
I appreciate you.
^_^

To dare is to do.

2005-12-07T23:41:00.000+10:30

Subjective

2005-12-06T19:09:00.000+10:30

Went out with 2 friends today... long time ones...
Some things don't change , don't they?
If i could put it, you're all the same as i saw you all the last time round,
but i guess everything's different, we head down different tracks.
Maturity, what is it?
Just doing the right thing at the right time?
Yups, and maturity is definetely a subjective thing,
there's so many things in life for us to be mature about,
and different people are definetely mature about different aspects of life.
So we plock down at the gym,
and what do guys talk about?
Haha, you've guessed it...
Girls, studies, work....
I guess we're all in the phase when we are still undecided on what we want in many aspects of life,
we're in the stage of moving forward, and we have to decide what we need to leave behind,
but the bottom line is,
we're all afraid to lose.
When it boils down to some important decisions,
many times we're in some form of self denial or self delusion,
cause there are too many things that we do not want to lose.
Everyone is insecure in some ways,
and different people lack varying levels of courage to take the plunge into the deep end,
perhaps in a few years time,
we would be more rugged in making decisions in our life.
And another theory that we kinda formulated about girls,
after exchanging the experiences of people around him,
that,
1. They are more 'chi qing' that guys are, they can like a person for so much longer.
Even if there's a glimmer of hope that this person might like them, even if it might seem clear that it's not going to work out, well, there's still hope!

... Then there was an example of a couple that was going for 5 years and broke up because she felt he was too nice to her and she could not reciprocate, probably because there was someone whom she could not forget.

... And then there was another example of another fren whose situation was vaguely similar, the girl kinda dropped him afer she finally got to go out with this guy she really liked, regardless of the fact that this guy only seems to vaguely like her and was just in the 'changing' and in-between phase.

But i guess attraction,
yups,
it's just to the superficial appearance that we all put up,
the looks,
the composure,
how well do we know the core and soul of another person?
Guys are more practical,
girls believe more in the perfect romance,
guess what constitutes a romance is a right blend of
friendship and romance.
No doubt friendship last the longest, but with the right blend of romance,
and with good alignment of characters and with some chemistry thrown in,
things would be fine.
Of course, studies and work!
Haha, glad that he's supposedly making quite a name for himself eh... =P
Wells, the depressing thing is we're maybe 1/10 of the way through?
Can't believe it, i'm going to graduate at 26, as a nobody.
Well, at least it's one year down, just so fast it seems....
And plus the fact that I'm probably going to work overseas,
sigh,
i guess i won't be around most of the time...
Maybe when you're all married le,
then i would have just started work proper,
and by the time I'm thinking of marriage,
you all have juniors running around le.
=/
Life... so many decisions...
what am i scared to lose?
what do i want to gain?

Far far away

2005-12-06T12:01:00.000+10:30

Ever had the feeling of reaching out for something,
and you just keep reaching and reaching,
only to realise that it's further away than you think?
And that you can never reach it?

Sian

2005-12-06T03:02:00.000+10:30

I bet in some parts of everybody's life,
they've felt stupid.
Either by things they have done, are doing.. or planning to do.
I feel stupid,
but I'm not saying why.
Pretty much doing the same things these days,
then again..
that's life ain't it?
Until something else comes along.
Sometimes we fall down,
but we do not learn,
and we still want to do it again.
Feeling stupid and being stupid is different.
If we ever did everything we thought was right at every decision making juncture,
maybe our lives would be in a great mess,
or perhaps it would be perfect right now,
who knows?
who cares?
Helplessness is for the weak hearted,
but i'm not strong.
=/
Missing pieces of a jigsaw puzzle...
Don't we all hate that feeling?
I do.
Sleep...
Please come tonight...

=/

2005-12-05T12:09:00.000+10:30

Yet another sleepless night...
Been so many these days...
But I think I'm slowly thinking this through...
Hopefully I'm doing the right thing...

The tiny little sticks

2005-12-04T12:04:00.000+10:30

Sometimes it seems,
the things that we have in our lives are more fragile than it seems,
just like how tiny sticks of wood could peice together a structure,
what we have in our lives are just tiny pieces of wood.
When things start to fall apart,
we find more sticks and use more glue to hold it together.
Some of us have nicer looking structures,
we patch up things nicely,
but some of us have strctures that are much more fragile.
Sometimes, people help each other out by using sticks from their own structures,
whilst some people seek to use some of your sticks to make their structures better,
but at the end of the day,
it is not what you have that determines how you've lived,
it is how you manage with what you have....
There's still much to life that we've not seen, experienced,
there's still so much different kinds of pitholes, setbacks and difficulties out there,
what are the things that will withstand the test of time,
perhaps,
only time can tell,
that what we believe and love is eternal...

When the sky turns dark

2005-12-02T17:20:00.004+10:30

A dark stormy night

2005-12-02T17:20:00.003+10:30

A dark stormy night

2005-12-02T17:20:00.002+10:30

Lol

2005-12-02T17:20:00.001+10:30

Again..using shampoo as shower,
I'm a genius.

Quote.. with a little xtra

2005-12-02T17:20:00.000+10:30

"To live only once, but with hope"
So true, hope, not for some huge change to happen to our lives,
not for some great happiness to enter our lives,
but for tiny things that can take our breath away,
for little episodes of happiness,
and when they do,
immerse yourself,
embrace life for what it is...

Another chunk of life...

2005-12-02T02:45:00.000+10:30

When there's someone to share your happiness with,
it becomes twice as happy.
When there's someone to share your sadness with,
it becomes twice as un-sad.
When there's someone who shares their happiness with you,
life becomes twice as happy.
When there's someone who shares their troubles with you.
life becomes twice as meaningful.
And when there's no one left to share anything,
or no one left to share,
life becomes more and more empty.
Some answers do not come easy,
especially if we look in the wrong places.

1 yr...

2005-12-01T15:21:00.000+10:30

1 year...so fast...
Thanks for being there.