A man has to be greater than just himself

Saw a man who got really with her daughter who stopped at the escalator for a while,
he seemed to be in a pretty bad mood,
but heys c'mon...
she's just a kid, I'm sure she din mean it.
Wells, a man should be greater than his temper,
in fact, a man should be greater than himself,
shouldn't let your frustrations, personal or work boil over onto others.
To be a man is to be able to put other needs on top of your own,
to be able to handle your own problems and not affect others if it's within your control,
pity the kids with bad parents.
And a great person is one who put others above self,
especially when it truely matters,
people make "sacrifices" everyday,
may the cause be worthy of the act.

=(
If i had a magic wand, i would make everyone 'good'.
Hehs, but als, everyone has bits of everything in them,
even the most confident person has insecurities,
i have loads,
and i have this whiny side which is constantly being exposed on my blog.
=(
Hahaz.

To choose between charming, nice or pretty( or shuai)

Weird i suddenly came up with a thought like that.
Happened when i met this driving instructor that was super duper smooth, somehow i just felt super at ease talking to him,
and he managed to make me feel so good about myself, and i was so convinced by everything he said about my driving.
Turns out that he's stayed a while in melbourne, is a medic and his wife's a nurse,
....he was just super good with words... i would say charming... not in the gayish sense but you know..
the type that makes good conversations and can make you believe anything.
I'm sure he must have his way with girls. =P
Anyways, to choose from the 3, which you would be most attracted by.
Say,
1. Charming.
Would make you feel super good about yourself, you would believe whatever they say, of course the person would be nice( how can he be bad when he's so good with words? ). But not very shuai.

2. Super duper nice.
But not very charming or very shuai. Generally does not converse excellently, does not look excellent, just does nice things.

3. Drop dead gorgeous. Need i say more? Usually when they're drop dead gorgeous, the love at first sight type, they are usually charming and nice too no matter what the truth is. Lets just assume they are normal people.

So... no baddies here.
Option 1, 2 and 3 are all good people.
Which one would you think you'd be most attracted to?

Hahaz, i was thinking, if i were to pick, it would be 1.
Cause it's one thing for pp tobe nice to me... but i find sometimes i really don't know how to react to the act of kindness or nicety, and it might make me feel awkward.
Words do have a amazing way of working people's mind. I dun admit that if someone was super good with words, i would be very consoled and inspired, and it would spur me on to do 'greater things' with my life.
Maybe the attraction wouldn't last, but wells nothing beats a having a headstart.
Think i am beyond the love at first sight aka crush stage le.
Wellz, i could be wrong
=X

hahaz, crappy post, it's getting latez, can't sleep, heads heavy.

Sorry for the whiny post.
=P

Nostalgia

It was cool meeting up with so many people last night,
first my class and then melbourne friends.
Haven't really seen either group of people in a while,
so had a rather great time cathcing up.
Not to mention it was my first time meeting all the "melbgaporeans",
haha, yeah you're all the same,
just that i suppose we assume different roles and responsibilites
here, and probably different cicles of friends.
Come to think of it,
this last year has really passed by so fast,
and as xing ning pointed out,
we only have 1.5 more years of studying in the uni left,
2/5 of the way through,
and then perhaps it's time to start missing being part of
school, classes and huge lectures.
And of course the inevitable fact that i'll see less of
some of the melb med pp.. =(
I must say,
life moves on rather quickly,
probably in a few more years time,
it wouldn't be so much blogging abt studying anymore...
Most people said i look different, probably they meant fairer,
even the hairdresser asked if i was 'mixed blood', or japanese,
wells,
people change on the outside,
but not on the inside.
Many things, we think we know,
many people, we think we know,
just like the game of FHM cards we played,
we think we see everyone for what they have,
and we compare,
but we can't see for ourselves what we have,
but we still try to compare,
that's when.... forfeit happens!
Lol.
To alot of people,
loss IS the most difficult thing to grapple with in life,
just don't let it grapple hold of your life.

Nostalgia

A hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I've saw your pretty face

A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same

But all the miles had separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face

This week

This week has gone by rather quickly...
As I laid in bed last night,
suddenly i started to feel that perhaps we all actually do not
have as many things in our life as we make ourself to have.
Sometimes we might feel that we have many friends,
but in the end only a few friendships are going to be the ones that last,
and needs the least maintenance.
Think essentially evreyone will only have a few close friends,
not just because I feel close to them,
but more of we never growing apart even after so many years.
It's just not possible to be so close to everyone,
especially as we grow older,
everyone tends to become more individualistic,
and take care only of the ones that are closest to them.
I mean i look at my parents, I'm sure they don't have as wide a circile
of contacts as i have during say...secondary school.
It's probably a mutual thing..
where if you feel that you're grown up enough, you probably gotta
learn to look after yourself and rely less on others.
Perhaps thats the way life is.
Looking back,
perhaps I've been chasing things too hard,
and wanting too many things,
no point wearing oneself out too badly,
though in hindsight, i probably would still have done the same things.
Well hahaz,
bottomline is,
hold dear what you have,
cause that's all that matters.

We will...

Things happen when you least expect them too,
everything happens for a reason,
seek your own truth,
cause that's the only way you will find it.

Just a lil more

There are some things which i suddenly miss a lot......

It was an interesting day

Just back from friend's party, well,
if it could be called one. =P
Anyway, thought the story/speech was really interesting,
point she was trying to drive across was the love of/for God is
the only fulfiling and everlasting love in anyone's life.
Way she went about it was rather nice though,
of love, hope and faith,
something about faith being the hope of things
that have not come,
and that love never fails, ( of God )
and the festive season is a season of love.
What she said about there being a emptiness in everyone's heart
was quite true,
and that we all feel lonely at times,
a inner void that we all seek to fill with love, family, friends, material comforts,
we have all kinds of needs,
and in the end everything disappoints,
your love for anyone or anything eventually disappears and leaves you disappointed,
except the love of God.
Which everyone I'm sure might agree to some extend,
that whatever passion and excitement of something new always seem to die out,
and in the end you always seem to end up with nothing much more.
But no, that's when i kinda believe otherwise,
that i know that one day my love for someone will not die,
and that i will find someone who will love me equally back,
it's not from the fact that i seem to forget and let go of things slower,
but i know i am capable of loving someone forever,
(wells unless the person changes drastically to someone i cannot understand anymore, or that love is not requited...),
just to find someone to share your life with,
someone you can share your happiness and sadness with,
wells,
i can give up my life for love... why not?
Wells, love for someone cannot be perfect,
I'm sure life cannot be perfect,
but what's the point of making everything so perfect?
We have just to accept that life can never be perfectly happy,
it is not to say good things don't last and everything disappoints,
why don't we look at the bad things and say that bad things do not last
as well?
Life can be tough,
life can be empty,
life can be lonely,
life can be a huge struggle,
but life can be happy too.
Life is just a mixture of everything,
take everything as it comes,
we all have different paths and routes,
we all do not know where it leads,
so,
best wishes for everyone out there to find someone to share your life with,
and accept that in a life
where people disappoint and happiness seem to disappear,
we'll also come to find people and new happiness to come,
it's just what we want to focus on.
^_^
Cheers everyone,
and all readers of my blog,
in good spirit we shall kick start the festive season,
and hopefully have a great life too.
(With love, faith and hope)
~*

A time

Life is a time to spend with the ones close at heart.
i think essentially we're all just spirits/souls.
Half of it we keep within our living shell,
half we leave in someone else's heart.
It's all about where we are.
If love is a game,
I'm not a player.
=P
Lol, sorry for all these nonsensical posts,
I blog funny!
^_^

Few words to describe myself

Low energy
Quiet
Low lying
Boring
Lost
Clueless

Another kope from somewhere...

There are times when life will let you down
With questions but no answers found
While on the hills a life has drowned
While in the skies one hits the ground

In sadness we fight greater fears
Laughter cries with solemn tears
No chance to walk the road once more
To seek the heavens we once sought for

Yet life though bitter is never too unkind
Truth she respects though she plays with the mind
One door may be closed but she leaves a key
For us to seek another wherever it may be

A lighthouse in the distance where darkness seeps
A kind soul at the door where someone weeps
A chance to see glory in the face of trial
A simple perfect moment to make life worthwhile

There are times when life will let you down
With no answers but more questions found
If only we could see through the shades of pain
That we would not know sunshine without the rain

Never cease to amaze

Talking to my friend always gives me things to blog.
Hahaz.
I shall quote..
"RI guys are the good guys, but we always end up as the losers."
Lol.
It's come to my conclusion that people our generation are
emotional,
in the pessimistic way.
Perhaps it's the age.
A relationship, a complement of friendship and romance.
More of which?
Friendship lasts forever, how long does passionate romance last?
Is it always there?
It takes a spark to start a fire,
but do we reignite the fire of friendship or that of romance?
When the right chemistry happens,
we will know it.
Chemsitry is complicated,
but when you get it right,
you get it right.
Thinking too much is a bad thing.
We can convince ourself to feel.
What of emotions then?
Sometimes we feel,
and then we think,
and then life is a big complicated web.
Well, kai xin jiu hao.
But what does it take to be happy?
Peace.
A meaning.
And puting your eggs in different baskets?
Maybe.
I wouldn't know.
=P

Falling into perspective...

I think we'd like to know that we have an alternative, an option in the things we do,
when making seemingly important decisions, we'd want to have options so that we can 'make the right decision.'
Perhaps if we come to realise that sometimes, perhaps we did not have an option in the first place, and that we did not really have a choice, it is easier to take things into acceptance.
It is true that it's much more comforting to know that we maintain control over our own lives, and we make the decisions regarding our own lives.
To the point that we might become rebellious when we do not seem to be presented with a choice, to feel a certain degree of dissent because we seem to have lost the basic power.. decision making.
Sometimes we feel helpless, lost, sad, angry over things that happens to us, because of what other people have done.
Guess we should come to realise,
what we have of our life is what we have right now at any point in time,
not the things we might have lost,
not the things we would like to gain,
there are things we can change,
there are decisions we can make,
but there are also things we cannot change,
decisions that are not ours to make,
put things into perspective,
and come to realise that what you have,
if all that matters,
and all that you need.

Vibes

Stupidity is an option, not a virtue.

Beauty

It is all about finding a connection.

King kong

Absolutely loved the show.
Was so brilliantly filmed,
and so very simple yet touching.
One particular scene stands out,
"The simplest things are often the most beautiful,
but sometimes we just search too hard,
and we fail to appreciate life's beauty"
.
So many touching and meaningful notions the movie brings across,
shouldn't spoil it,
.
Feel so much more alive afer watching the movie,
hold on to it tight when it's there,
appreciate it when it's yours to keep,
and when it's lost... let it go.
.
Don't search too hard.....

Kae

Hmmm, talking to my friend has helped me come to terms with something
that has been bothering me, not directly by anything he told me, but by
some self achknowlegment.
.
"The most important thing is to be able to confront yourself first."
.
Something intersting courtesy of boon,
when we were in jc, we were carnal, we lusted
after people.
now that we are older, we tend to be more emotional, and then we end up thinking and thinking abt things and implications alot,
we tend to be more cautious, and we want to be sure we're ready and the person is
te right one.
.
Maybe everyone is more similar then it seems.
.
Anywayz, i've done some thinking,
am glad i am clearer.
^_^
.
Well, at least it seems i think i am right,
who is to know?
Only time will tell i guess...

Love each day

This life is what we've got,
this time is what we have,
life,
busy or slack,
happy or sad,
better or worse,
cherish it,
let your love be pure,
and not wait for loss as a precedence to appreciation.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

People are so complicated.
It's not easy to understand a lot of peope,
much less to be understood.

Walk the talk

All talk and no action does not make a man.
Excuses are for the uncommitted ones.

Just so memory

I must say,
I don't think i remember events in my life particularly well,
maybe that's why i blog.
Just read my blog,
sure brings back memories,
maybe in a few years time...
I would have forgotten what i was blogging about,
what a great pity that would be.
Sometimes things happen quickly,
sometimes things happen slowly,
sometimes things disappear quickly,
sometimes things disappear slowly,
sometimes we're happy,
sometimes we're sad,
perhaps we should pay more attention to the sometimes in our life,
i mean..
it's only sometimes that it happens...
not everytime,
right?

Just a thought......

Don't we all wish,
there was someone we could bare our innermost thoughts to?
Is it when the right person comes along?
Or is it when we're ourselves ready to face up to our innermost self?

Starry nights

In life,
it's the little things that matters the most,
it's the tinest details that counts the most,
it's the smallest touch that means the most,
sometimes,
we just gotta take the hint,
can't be blind to the truth forever.

I mean..this is what we are?

Friend commented that my blog is so random and abstract, guess it is,
but to me it makes perfect sense, and i don't suppose it'll be
perfectly clear to anyone except myself, i guess..
emotions are best understood by oneself.
And it's so true, that we all have things kept so deep within oneself that
even we might not want/dare to face it.
Think everyone has these inner feelings that even oneself is
afraid to face,
i mean we're all living in some kind of self-delusion at some level or another.
Sometimes these thoughts might turn out to be so foolish if we actually
piursue them,
who knows what they will turn out to be,
and many times the consequences are not what we can afford,
but we just cannot let them go....
I think the truely confident and happy person is one who can face
up most to himself and be enitrely clear on what he wants to achieve
and hopes to have in his life.
Things in life can be dreams, wilful fantasies, fact,
fiction, hopes, maybes,
the million dollar question is
"What do we allow ourself to believe?"
"What we think we know" is something that can be horribly wrong,
and
"What we think we want"
can be another question we never dare face up.
Well, perhaps life is really about finding compromise, striking
balances, to have the least regrets, and move on with your
decisions.
After all, there's no turning back time.

On another note,
the NEWPAPER never fails to amaze me.
There was actually this whole article on leptin,
and it was a pretty good one at how injecting leptin/ having leptin supplements
actually help people who are on diet to substain their weight loss.
Cools.
And was nice to see the section on "Babe of the year and Dude of the year"
Why?
Well, for one Dawn Yeo was featured... That was kinda cool...
Feel sad that her situation has become quite bad, i mean with all the
negative publicity, I would be finding life a lil difficult as well.
And for the guy section, there was a write up for this guy, Howard Lo.
He is really... quite sad.
Yeah... the "Eye for a Guy" guy.
He's like really quite suay to start off with.
Like he did everything possible to win Denise Keller's heart,
i mean ... he prob would have won hands down if it was a voting show,
but he had to finsh second because Denise Keller eventually pick
Wolfgang who was much more blessed in the looks department.
Well, this Howard fella, I must admit do look abit... "faggoty", i
dunno that's how i feel, but still.. he's quite sad la....
But i guess,
he was the one who should had gone for plastic surgery,
cause the bottom line is,
looks do matter,
whether you're a guy or a girl.
No one wants to be known as being superficial,
but alas,
how many of us is not?
I'm not doubting,
and there are so many nice relationships out there who are obviously not
base on looks,
just that,
you can either seek to be the
perfect couple
or have the
perfect relationship
One can only be optimistic and hope for both...
Well, take some time and think about it,
and don't be so quick to pick the latter,
after all,
we want to be able to face up to our innermost self,
don't we all?

On a stormy night

cools..had our first night with the wind howling and rain pouring...
Makes you feel warm and protected when you cuddle up in bed,
and think that everyone else you know are probably doing the same thing,
well... possibly.. it's a nice thought.
Like keeping warm in cold weather..especially when you
can feel all fuzzy inside.
Me = no life
hahaz, everyday just have random thoughts.
If everything in life comes your way,
then what is the meaning of achievement.
Oh and jem, like your msn nick hahaz
'do or do not, there is no try'

If

If life is not happy,
at least make it meaningful.
How long can meaningful last?
What is meaning without happiness,
and what is happiness without anyone to share with?
Melbourne and singapore,
where am I?
Adapting could be one of the most challenging thing in my life thus far.
On another note,
sigh even if it's true,
there's nothing i can do....
Grim and bare it...

I'm decided

I'm going to put an end to this mundane existence i call life,
playing computer games and brooding at home all day is unbecoming.
From now on,
will go market buy groceries,
cook lunch and dinner,
do some reading of notes and hit the gym,
catch up with friends,
hahaz, must aim to be domesticated, studious and social at the same time,
next time must provide well and take care of family.
On another note, been sourcing out nice gifts,
as well as thinking about ways to decorating my room/place,
can't wait till i have my own place and family hahaz.
Sometimes, it seems i'm evolving my life around something that doesn't exist,
wellz,
i don't suppose there's enough things to take care of in my own life atm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear blog,
Sorry to having put up with all my musings, thoughts, complains, confessions and ramblings.
You're like the friend i never had,
and talking to you relives some of the tension i keep inside myself sometimes,
sigh,
I'm how loser.
Bloggie,
you don't judge me,
you listen to me,
you won't get angry at me,
*muacks*
I appreciate you.
^_^

To dare is to do.

Subjective

Went out with 2 friends today... long time ones...
Some things don't change , don't they?
If i could put it, you're all the same as i saw you all the last time round,
but i guess everything's different, we head down different tracks.
Maturity, what is it?
Just doing the right thing at the right time?
Yups, and maturity is definetely a subjective thing,
there's so many things in life for us to be mature about,
and different people are definetely mature about different aspects of life.
So we plock down at the gym,
and what do guys talk about?
Haha, you've guessed it...
Girls, studies, work....
I guess we're all in the phase when we are still undecided on what we want in many aspects of life,
we're in the stage of moving forward, and we have to decide what we need to leave behind,
but the bottom line is,
we're all afraid to lose.
When it boils down to some important decisions,
many times we're in some form of self denial or self delusion,
cause there are too many things that we do not want to lose.
Everyone is insecure in some ways,
and different people lack varying levels of courage to take the plunge into the deep end,
perhaps in a few years time,
we would be more rugged in making decisions in our life.
And another theory that we kinda formulated about girls,
after exchanging the experiences of people around him,
that,
1. They are more 'chi qing' that guys are, they can like a person for so much longer.
Even if there's a glimmer of hope that this person might like them, even if it might seem clear that it's not going to work out, well, there's still hope!

... Then there was an example of a couple that was going for 5 years and broke up because she felt he was too nice to her and she could not reciprocate, probably because there was someone whom she could not forget.

... And then there was another example of another fren whose situation was vaguely similar, the girl kinda dropped him afer she finally got to go out with this guy she really liked, regardless of the fact that this guy only seems to vaguely like her and was just in the 'changing' and in-between phase.

But i guess attraction,
yups,
it's just to the superficial appearance that we all put up,
the looks,
the composure,
how well do we know the core and soul of another person?
Guys are more practical,
girls believe more in the perfect romance,
guess what constitutes a romance is a right blend of
friendship and romance.
No doubt friendship last the longest, but with the right blend of romance,
and with good alignment of characters and with some chemistry thrown in,
things would be fine.
Of course, studies and work!
Haha, glad that he's supposedly making quite a name for himself eh... =P
Wells, the depressing thing is we're maybe 1/10 of the way through?
Can't believe it, i'm going to graduate at 26, as a nobody.
Well, at least it's one year down, just so fast it seems....
And plus the fact that I'm probably going to work overseas,
sigh,
i guess i won't be around most of the time...
Maybe when you're all married le,
then i would have just started work proper,
and by the time I'm thinking of marriage,
you all have juniors running around le.
=/
Life... so many decisions...
what am i scared to lose?
what do i want to gain?

Far far away

Ever had the feeling of reaching out for something,
and you just keep reaching and reaching,
only to realise that it's further away than you think?
And that you can never reach it?

Sian

I bet in some parts of everybody's life,
they've felt stupid.
Either by things they have done, are doing.. or planning to do.
I feel stupid,
but I'm not saying why.
Pretty much doing the same things these days,
then again..
that's life ain't it?
Until something else comes along.
Sometimes we fall down,
but we do not learn,
and we still want to do it again.
Feeling stupid and being stupid is different.
If we ever did everything we thought was right at every decision making juncture,
maybe our lives would be in a great mess,
or perhaps it would be perfect right now,
who knows?
who cares?
Helplessness is for the weak hearted,
but i'm not strong.
=/
Missing pieces of a jigsaw puzzle...
Don't we all hate that feeling?
I do.
Sleep...
Please come tonight...

=/

Yet another sleepless night...
Been so many these days...
But I think I'm slowly thinking this through...
Hopefully I'm doing the right thing...

The tiny little sticks

Sometimes it seems,
the things that we have in our lives are more fragile than it seems,
just like how tiny sticks of wood could peice together a structure,
what we have in our lives are just tiny pieces of wood.
When things start to fall apart,
we find more sticks and use more glue to hold it together.
Some of us have nicer looking structures,
we patch up things nicely,
but some of us have strctures that are much more fragile.
Sometimes, people help each other out by using sticks from their own structures,
whilst some people seek to use some of your sticks to make their structures better,
but at the end of the day,
it is not what you have that determines how you've lived,
it is how you manage with what you have....
There's still much to life that we've not seen, experienced,
there's still so much different kinds of pitholes, setbacks and difficulties out there,
what are the things that will withstand the test of time,
perhaps,
only time can tell,
that what we believe and love is eternal...

When the sky turns dark

In life,
it's the little things that matters the most,
it's the tinest details that counts the most,
it's the smallest touch that means the most,
sometimes,
we just gotta take the hint,
can't live in a world of doubt,
just gotta swallow the truth.

A dark stormy night

cools..had our first night with the wind howling and rain pouring...
Makes you feel warm and protected when you cuddle up in bed,
and think that everyone else you know are probably doing the same thing,
well... possibly.. it's a nice thought.
Like keeping warm in cold weather..especially when you
can feel all fuzzy inside.
Me = no life
hahaz, everyday just have random thoughts.
If everything in life comes your way,
then what is the meaning of achievement.
Oh and jem, like your msn nick hahaz
'do or do not, there is no try'

A dark stormy night

cools..had our first night with the wind howling and rain pouring...
Makes you feel warm and protected when you cuddle up in bed,
and think that everyone else you know are probably doing the same thing,
well... possibly.. it's a nice thought.
Like keeping warm in cold weather..especially when you
can feel all fuzzy inside.
Me = no life
hahaz, everyday just have random thoughts.
If everything in life comes your way,
then what is the meaning of achievement.
Oh and jem, like your msn nick hahaz
'do or do not, there is no try'

Lol

Again..using shampoo as shower,
I'm a genius.

Quote.. with a little xtra

"To live only once, but with hope"
So true, hope, not for some huge change to happen to our lives,
not for some great happiness to enter our lives,
but for tiny things that can take our breath away,
for little episodes of happiness,
and when they do,
immerse yourself,
embrace life for what it is...

Another chunk of life...

When there's someone to share your happiness with,
it becomes twice as happy.
When there's someone to share your sadness with,
it becomes twice as un-sad.
When there's someone who shares their happiness with you,
life becomes twice as happy.
When there's someone who shares their troubles with you.
life becomes twice as meaningful.
And when there's no one left to share anything,
or no one left to share,
life becomes more and more empty.
Some answers do not come easy,
especially if we look in the wrong places.

1 yr...

1 year...so fast...
Thanks for being there.

Definitive

Think things in life are more certain than we make it to be,
just that we got to constantly ask ourself what we make of the situation,
and set out to doing the things we tell ourself to do.
Time passes by and every moment is lost if we make nothing of it,
precious things from our lives slip us by if we do nothing,
and we cannot afford to wait for happiness to fall at our feet,
tired and jaded we all may be,
but heys,
whatever it is that we believe and know we must do,
set out to do it le,
digging holes to hide sucks..
Keep you chins up,
cause that's the only way to live.
Just do it.