Emotions are bereft of logic

But this much is true,
we know how we feel,
we know what we should feel,
we know how we could feel,
but that does not translate to how we will feel,
why?
only... God knows,
or maybe it's some kind of
mental block or psychological barrier,
as i said,
only... God knows,
and perhaps one day we'll find the answer.

And of course,
if we can't even control how we feel,
then the more we dun know how somebody else feels,
or how somebody else should feel,
or somebody else can feel,
and most essentially,
how somebody actually feels,
only....somebody knows,
and whether...
we can, will, should, could, or ...want to...
believe... somebody.


Perhaps figuring out isn't important,
some things are meant to be,
lets give...
fate a little chance in our lives,
but then again,
every small thing that has happened...
With absoulutely nothing in exception,
It's part of our destiny,
ain't it?

Putting it where it counts

Hoooooooo
I guess all throughout life we're gonna have troubles,
troubles and more troubles.
No matter at what stage in life,
there's bound to be various setbacks, troubles, ruts,
unsettled issues, grievances.... whatever.
Say now,
everyone has more or less the same kind of troubles,
relationship, studies' stress, uncertain future.
A few more years from now,
it's gonna be a different story,
maybe... marriage,
*touch wood*, infidelity? Fininacial management,
parent issues, children issue,
proper care for parents, schooling for kids...
And maybe a few more years?
What's to come, health problems? More fininacial complications?
Finding proper housing? Education for kids?
The list never ends,
no matter how old we grow.
I guess what is important is to not be too foucs on your own problems,
and i guess there are probably not that unique,
everyone has, had or will have the similar issues now and then,
perhaps that's when we will find advice and direction in life from
peers, parents.....
Guess we all have our own support network,
it might change now and then,
and change is one of the hardest thing to deal with in life,
and time passes by so fast!
Perhaps it's good to constantly sit down and list down
what I have in life every so often,
and tell myself...
"this is what i have, nothing more, nothing less,
what do i make of the things i have. "
And if there's anything i want, i guess i'll see what i can do,
no point letting it consume myself,
or letting my life revolve around possessing something,
and not around the things i have.

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going

We've come a long way, and we have a long way to go....

^_^

-_-

Had a dream about sombody,
because of something i read on the person's blog.
Perhaps subconsciously, we are more affected than we admit.
=)

The years go by

The years go by,
the years go by,
and,
the years go by.
So fast,
too fast,
we leave things behind because we couldn't hold on to them,
we leave things behind because we didn't hold on to them,
sometimes we have the luxury of regrets,
sometimes life forces us to look and plan ahead,
take a look around,
breathe,
life is...
now.

Thanks for the nice conversation

Hahaz,
been a while since i've managed a
meaningful msn conversation.
=P

Imperfection

Acceptance of imperfection in the most perfect way
between two people is love.
Isn't it a irony,
we want ourselves to be perfect,
but the only world in which we can be perfect is in someone else's.
Keep thee heart whole,
and love with it I shall.

When we go,
anywhere,
is it harder for the people we leave behind,
or for us who are leaving?

Do we matter more to the people we're leaving
or do they matter more to us?

Truth indeed is, nothing we can do abt it,
nothing to be sad about i guess,
i've grown to realise something,
if u feel a particular way about something,
do not hide or attempt to disregard it,
denial, igonorance does not work,
the best thing to do,
is to confront it and accept it,
and when there are things we need to get over,
we realise it comes much easier.

=)

No matter what it takes

I suppose everyone is afraid of failure,
and everyone has their own ways of dealing with it,
coping with it,
denying it,
accepting it.

We may pretend it's nothing,
but truth is failure,
or the fear of it,
affects us in many different and subtle ways.

In life,
everybody has different capabilities and metohds of coping,
no one is weak, no one is strong,
no one is right, no one is wrong,
a true friend does not doubt,
a true friend always believes in you,
so perhaps what is important,
is to never stop believing in the people you care for,
cause it will see us through to the end.

Everyone will take a tumble sometimes,
everyone will lose hope,
everyone will lose their way,
everyone will fail,
everyone will fall,
there will be times when we can pull through alone,
there will be times when we won't be able to pick ourself up alone,
and all throughout our lives,
we will meet people who will believe in us,
who will help us unconditionally,
and when we're fine,
we should also extend whatever belief we can to the people around us.


Looks are superficial,
beauty is skin deep,
cliche but true,
today something i heard on tv touch me unexpectantly,
that if we look deep enough into someone's core,
we'll be able to see the kindness and goodness that dwells within,
and that is what that is true beauty,
and that is what that will last forever.

Aaah, such lovey dovey talk,
so nice.
^_^

And perhaps that is all that matters,
may all the good people never lose faith in themeselves,
and everyone to never stop believing.



^_^

A nice day

That started off with cycling along east coast park,
it's been such a long time since i'vedone it,
the nice scenery, the fresh air, the crazy antics ( from me ),
the beach is just so romantic,
and watching and listening to the waves just sets my heart at peace sometimes,
jsut watching them come and go,
come and go,
just like people and events in our life,
they will come and go,
and we're just like the sand,
getting stirred and swoshed around,
some waves hit us harder, some waves change us more,
in the end what's important is how and where we settle....

One of these nights this year,
i wish i'll find myself at the beach once again,
with nice company.
=)

Anywayz,
more on the cycling,
there was the Jay Chou pose by houston at bedok jetty,
there was the promise that one day we'll try the wakeboarding at the lagoon,
the hot afternoon sun,
jia hui getting 'hungry',
us trying to cycle through the 'forest' without much avail,
jia hui getting 'hungrier',
and the sun getting hotter,
and of course who's to forget weiyong's proclaimation,
nono, this time it's nothing to do with jiahui,
but.....
" I think I'm cute. "

0_o <---- Me

o_O <---- jiawei

O_O <---- houston

-_- <----- jiahui

^_^ <----- weiyong

LOL.

Just finshed watching the 9pm show,
you know,
it'll be wonderful if there would be a chunchun in my life right now,
in fact no,
it'll be perfect if there would be someone half as nice as chunchun
in my life,
i mean she cares and loves so unconditionally and whole heartedly,
i'll dedicate my life to her,
think only of her,
do things only for her,
and take care of her always.
^_^

They say love is selfish,
I would prefer to call it single-mindedness between 2 people,
for someone who can love you as much as chunchun does,
that is true bliss =)

And may we all be able to appreciate something like that one day.

^_^

Quotes .... again =P

"The greatest distance in the world is to
be in front of you but to have you not
believing i love you. "

=)

Support, understanding, trust and forgiveness.

In remembrance

We'll only miss things when they are missing,
don't we?
It's no good that we only appreciate something when
it's already gone...or over...or missing.
I miss my phone,
my sleek black V3,
=(
let this be a lesson for me in appreciation.
Mustn't let this stop me from getting in sync with my new phone,
else it might become a endless cycle.
Hahaz.

=/

Looking inside

Sometimes it's good to lay down the bare facts of life to yourself,
and try and make yourself see things in a different perspective,
had a really nice dream last night,
few things in life matter,
when you focus only on yourself though,
life loses it's meaning.
Been increasingly sappy these days,
sleeping like a log,
hahaz.

Take a look around

Just looking at my parents,
and then you can't help but think that
it is so sad when you do not find the right life partner.
If you find someone whose temperament will boil over,
someone who will get frustrated with you over the smallest thing,
someone who does not agree with the way you handle and do the smallest things,
someone whose idea of care, concern does not conicide with yours,
life is gonna be sad,
big time.
Arguments are ok,
but not when you disagree on too many things.

Marriage might be the eternal promise to be there for each other,
but getting married does not necessarily promises you that.
What an irony.


Underneath all the layers of attractiveness that the person has put up when
he/she was younger,
what is underneath?
Underneath the charm and beauty of everyone lies another person,
not necessary a bad one,
but most essentially a different one.

Love and passion might blind one to everything else,
with love might come tolerance and compromise,
does it necessarily emcompass happiness?

Guess it is best to face life with much greater truth and less lies,
not to the point of being brusque and tactless,
but by knowing more clearly what we expect from
the people around us,
our friends,
our family,
or next time,
our spouse,
our kids.

Ask yourself what is it that we truely envision our lives to be,
ask yourself what it is that we envision our life partners to be,
it is impossible to change someone unless the person changes on his/her own.

Think it's possible to love only one person at one time,
but possible to have loved many.
For those that you have loved,
you sincerly wish them to be happy in the rest of their life journey,
and you accept that your journey is not with them by your side.
For the one you love,
you'll care and protect,
and there is no greater gift to you than her happiness.

=(
I'm such a crappy person, hahaz.
Maybe i should start blogging about other things,
like.....

I NEED MORE MONEY!

Hahaz.

Kidding.

^_^

Interesting thoughts, random conversation amongst guys

After a converstaion with .... <--- Whose identity is preserved
The one
Interesting how we always use the term,
the one so freely.

Humans are amazing creatures,
whatever feelings we might develop,
and partially self constructed,
essentially it is possible for us to convince ourselves anything.
Feelings are self-fabricated.

Assuming that we find looks, mannerism, behaviour of 10% of the people tolerable,
out of the 10%,
whoever reciprocates more to you....
you are most likely to convince yourself she's the one.
So, say out of all the people you know, or ever know,
there are probably a few,
'the one'.

And not to mention that there will probably be some super hot, macho, confident, intelligent, cute kind of guy out there for the girls, and some super beautiful, sweet, caring and demure girls out there for the guys,
these people receive extra points in becoming ' the one'
We don't even need to convince ourselves we like these people,
everyone has a certain degree of lust,
let our imagination do the rest.

So, even though it's like finding a needle in the haystack,
there are many needles in the haystack,
not many,
not one either,
a few probably,
and the more people you meet in life,
the more needles there are.

And things start to get dangerous and complicated when
we think we've found a needle and dropped it back into the haystack,
or we've caught a glimpse of one,
That's when people start doing funny things.

People will go the amazing lengths to retrieve something that
they had, almost had, want,
=)



But, of course i must protect the notion of there being 'the one'.

Ultimately, if you have any wiff of romance in you,
you will convince yourself that when we make a choice,
it is determined by destiny.

Self delusion?

No.

Romantic.

Yes.

Haha, guess ultimately, none of this matters,
just gotta be true to whatever feelings that develop,
whether they have been...
carefully constructed,
sub consciously fabricated
or entirely spontaneous.

What's the use of finding out?
Hahaz.
^_^

So there is the one out there for me.
=P

Memoirs of a geisha

Story of a girl
who found out that life is not as beautiful as it seems,
but help is always around the corner.
Somehow, didn't think that the movie protrayed
the emptiness she found in her plight,
Fairies tales don't exist,
i guess it's best we keep both feets firmly on the ground,
and not to self delude ourself into a fantasy world,
so that we do not have to one day make too many sacrifices,
such that we lose ourselves.
Life may not always be filled with happiness,
but who says we can't stop looking?
=)

Time

We'll always have time for the things that matter,
we'll never have time for the things that do not.

I remember

Once in melbourne,
when i was going back from school,
i felt like eating bak kwa,
new year seemed so far away,
it's here soon though,
so fast,
so fast.

=)

Glad you liked it.

Iz it?

Is difficult to describe how i feel of life now,
hmmmz,
not sad,
not stressed,
on the contary,
i do feel rather relaxed,
but there's just this tinge of sadness
and lack of emotions, emptiness,
that seems to be dwelling deep within,
such that a gloss comes over evreything,
not overly happy,
not overly sad,
not overly enthusiastic,
not overly hopeful,
it's weird.
I do feel alright,
rather at peace too,
but somehow at the same time,
it feels like,
i'm a broken toy,
still working,
but running down.
Sometimes at night I'll imagine myself dying,
and imagine how people will remember me,
dying's not scary,
not living is.

=(

Sad.

Lost my phone

Lost my phone,
all my contacts gone!
=(
*Ultimate gloom*
Currently... home number 64456632...
If my phone is up... will post here.
=(

One word

To describe life now,
comfy,
it's just so slack and relax right now,
hahaz,
nothing immenent to worry about,
no pressure from studies,
chillz.
I will miss this =P
Been busy improving my driving skills,
learning how to cook,
thinking of things to buy so that next sem will be
more relaxed.
Well,
guys do the planning and girls do the spending.
Ain't that true?
=P

Doors

Doors to be opened,
doors to be closed,
decisions, decisions,
how shall it go?

Huh?

The past is over,
the future is yet to come.
Why worry over what was,
or what might be?
Let it go a lil easier,
anticipate a lil less,
be a little kinder on yourself,
and everything will turn out fine.

Truth

True to your friends,
true to your family,
true to your beliefs,
true to your heart,
true to all you love,
true to yourself.

But we're humans,
if we're not binded by bonds
of friendship,
or kinship,
if we have no resposibility,
no sense of righteousness,
no sense of justice,
no sense of loyalty,
no regards of others,
if we fail to gain the trust of others,
if we deceive and con,
if we only look out for ourselves,

What makes us any different from any animal we see?

We lead a life,
of unseen expectations,
of unspoken promises,
take it,
and love it,
or reject it,
and loathe it,
either way,
it is still yours.
Treasure it.

For the guys

From the 9pm show again,
if you've made a promise to a friend to keep a secret,
and being honest to the person you love means breaking your promise,
what would you do?
Sounds like a lose lose situation.

On another hand,
next time someone approaches you with a questionaire,
don't be a faggot and take evasive actions,
walk straight, look the person in the eye and say no thanks.
It works,
hahaz, try it.

Close your eyes

And take a rest.
I find that when i close my eyes,
i tend to formulate worries,
my mind starts to wander when it's dark.
Whenever i close my eyes now,
and my mind starts to drift,
i'll tell myself not to formulate worries,
cutting it off before it can take root,
I like the rain,
the weather's cool and i'm not sticky all over,
and it's this grey gloom that we know will be lifted,
a constant reminder to myself that whatever
gloom will eventually be lifted,
and whilst it's still raining,
there is no rason to be down.

They say

That if u think of someone long and hard enough,
the person can feel it,
may that be even half true.
=)

These nights

As i lay and toss around in bed,
i have so many thoughts running through my head,
and especially in the past few nights,
with my incessant coughing,
it's been impossbible to get to sleep,
and there are so many things i feel like
i need to do, need to say, need to write down...
Hardly know where i should start,
probably this gonna be a very long post,
to some interesting confessions hahaz.

Shall start off by thanking some of the friends
i met in the army for changing my perception of life.
I mean i do not have much recollections of my army
days, and truth is... I've never felt i could
connect with everyone fully, i mean usually you guys
help me more than i help you all, and i've always
felt no one is someone i would bare my soul to,
it has always felt the the things that i place concern
and emphasis on isn't the same as the things you guys
focus on.
Wellz, 2 years onz, the interaction changed a lil,
truth is, in hindsight, i think evreyone that I have met has touched
me in some way or other, and changed me into the person
i am now.
Like andy for example, always so willing to help others,
to the point that everyone was 'taking advantage' of you
in some way or another, and you're so willing and
enthusiastic to the point everyone takes you for granted.
Well, thanks for all the favours you have done me, hahaz,
like scanning my 11b for brekkie, helping us get the off pass signed,
well, it's the little things that count,
and i know you do it out of goodness of your heart.
And that's the way i believe it should be,
and i find myself doing things for people more naturally,
like it's just coming out of your heart,
and when you take away the motive and intentions away,
the joy will come when you make someone else happy,
and not when you receive any favours back.
So andy, hahaz, glad you exempliflied this over the years i met you. =P

You know, we can meet so many kinds of friends in our lives,
and i feel we can classify them into 4 basic categories,
1. Those that would help you if you ask them
2. Those that would help you after they've deliberated that they
have the time and resources
3. Those that would help you if there's something in it for them,
whether to impress, repaying a favour... just some agenda
4. Those that would help you unconditionally

I msut admit i am all kinds of friends to the people around me,
it just happens, and these categories are defeintely not mutually exclusive.
You know, i only wish i was more of a class 4 friend to more people around me,
but is it possible to give and give without getting tired at any point?
Probably a yes,
but probably something not easily attainable as well.

Hmmm, moving on, ermm... looks!
i must admit that i do rather feel insecure with my looks, =( ,
hahaz, and i really do hate my complexion.
i mean i KNOW it bothers me quite a bit,
but i realise i do have a lot of more important things to worry about
sometimes, and that kind of takes away my attention.
Hmmm, how do i describe best how i feel?
Ahh, like you have a perpatual niggling injury that you can't shake off,
something that constantly reminds you it's there.
Speaking of which,
I've decided to go do a chemical peel again sometime next week,
hopefully there'll be some improvement though i know it's gonna be minute,
hahaz, and i'll prob be just doing nothing at home for about maybe a week.
Well, insecurities, I'm sure everyone has them,
I have mine too, not that I'm being candid,
but wellz, perhaps the first step to overcoming them... is to face them
more openly.

And i must admit, i do judge people i've met for the first times by
their looks, i mean.. it's just something that i think we cannot change.
We critically appraise people we see, and much as we do not want to admit
it, attraction to looks is still very much a factor, however small
it might have dwindled to,
when we get smitten by someone's elses looks,
you know,
your beliefs, opinions, perceptions of the person will be altered,
even to the point we do not want to admit to ourselves that it has,
and attraction, emotions, feelings of love, they can be all
so strong when we experience it for the first time,
to the point where everyone of us have vastly different beliefs
that we cling on to depending on what we've experienced in
our own lives.
There will never be a right and wrong,
because faith is blind,
and love is blind,
the person compromising oneself so much in the name of love
might be a much happier person than you think,
the person in love could seem to be oblivious to
a lot of things but who is to say the person is unhappy.
Perhaps, perhaps,
the best thing to do is to let everyone figure out their own lives,
cause for whatever good and bad that might happen to them,
at least they will feel like they're in control of their own destiny.
It is impossible to bear self grudge for too long,
for there is everything to gain and nothing to lose.
Is it so?
Maybe.
Caught this quote from the 9pm show on channel 8,
'it is very easy to recognise what someone is good for,
but alot of courage and resignation to recognise someone's flaws.'
Hmmmz, true?

I remember my first crush. It was what people would call
love at first sight. I mean, I understand how it feels.
Strange it would be that you would set your eyes on someone,
and you just start having those weird fluffy feelings,
someone who you have seen for the first time in your life,
someone whom you do not even know.
Up till now, i still remember where i first 'met' her,
it's a weird thing,
impression and memories,
some memories might be so much better, but we lose them,
but we never quite lose our first few impressions of love,
even though there probably was nothing there.
It takes a lot to know someone, how can we love someone
we do not know? Even if we think we know, how much do we know?
One can hardly say it is possible to know anyone else
like the palm of their hands,
wells, unless they display some kind of telepathy to me.
Hahaz.
I remember when there was a time
where glances and looks mean so much,
and there was a thrill in just seeing someone move,
where you observe someone's behaviour around you
and start formulating theories,
i remember a time where i was even too shy to talk to a girl,
i remember a time where someone could leave me tongue tied,
or make me blush the crimsomest red....
Well, that was a long time back,
probably a lot of things wouldn't mean as much to me now,
perhaps individually i feel i've seen a lot,
the same as everyone else,
but i guess there's still a hell lot of things i have not learned,
so it is best to live life with a very open mind.
Perhaps i've mellowed,
but there are so many things that only time could tell,
even what i think is right, what i believe,
i might never find the answer to them.
=P

Relationships... i must admit, it would be nice to have one,
i mean having someone there with a unspoken promise is a great thing.
Perhaps relationships should be kept a simple thing, i realise
that though i've never been in one, i realise i have thoughts that
might complicate things, especially insecurites about oneself.
It would be great if one day, a 'simple' relationship would come along,
i've modified this quote,
"We are equal in a relationship, just that you will be more equal than
i am. "
hahaz, that shall be my motto.

I believe love is most beautiful thing in the world,
and that there is no one person in the world that can be more beautiful
tha love itself, though i said earlier that attraction may be influenced
by looks, there are many other things else,
and none of that matters when you're in love.
Truthfully,
no physical changes can alter how beautiful the person is in your heart.
I think I'm a very emotional person, if i've decided to do anything,
i will be totally passionate abt it.
Some people say you can only love someone else if you're complete,
i choose to believe that love is what completes 2 individual,
individually, no one will ever be complete or strong enough,
even the most confident person,
needs his/her other half to feel whole.

i know this is very much a mindset thing, perhaps penning down this post
means more to myself than to anyone that might be reading it.

Last thing is... i must admit melbourne is a very lonely place,
in a way it's like being sent to the army,
just that this time it's my choice,
i'm doing something that i want to,
and I'll cope much better than i did the other time round.
You know, it would be such a pity that after five or six years
i still feel distant from everyone,
well, for a start, maybe i should pay more attention to the people around me,
"listen with both ears, and speak with my heart more often".
Though i must say, the last year has been rather amazing,
and there's nothing that i have done that i would have changed...

Such a random and long post, probably lost some of the meaning
due to my inadequate vocabulary, hahaz! =P
Any, for now so it is, my post-reflections at age 21, 2 and a half month latez.

May the coming year be a great one for everyone.
*naggy me*
There's only one thing i like about Liverpool FC,
go figure...
Winner gets a big prize.
=P

Just wondering..thinking...speculating..hahaz

In a few years time probably a few people will disappear from my life,
i mean... our relationship with everyone around us is constantly evolving,
probably threads of some old friendship will be broken,
and new ones will be forged,
and when the people disappear from your life,
all you will have are the memories of them.
So heys everyone,
pause a moment with whatever you are doing,
and take a mental picture of the people you know,
remember them for how they are in your own special way,
cause you will never know the future holds,
and when you'll never see them again.
When you lose someone you don't want to lose,
don't be too sad too,
perhaps we din have the choice,
or it was influenced by circumstances,
or the timing was wrong,
whatever it is,
what matters is what we want to do now.
Someone asked me today,
what do you mean by living your own life?
Life is about ....
chasing your dreams?
chasing your beliefs?
chasing ideals?
chasing happiness?
chasing novelty?
chasing beauty?
Not really,
but chasing your heart....
Where do we all put our hearts?
When we put it in the wrong place,
we will never find happiness,
when we let it float around,
we will always feel empty,
when we do not dare to listen to what our own heart says,
we will always suffer.
So again,
take some time off,
search and listen to yourself,
do what can be done,
and try your very best to succeed,
let fate decide the rest...
Perhaps at the end of the day,
it's not about getting what we want,
but wanting what we've got.
Sounds like a 'resigned' attitude to face life,
but it's kinda true,
we never stop wanting things,
it's good when we get what we want...
but inevitably we will miss out on some,
if we look too much into what we cannot get,
then perhaps we might have lost our way in life.....
The unhappiest man is the one who has the most unfulfiled
wants,
the happiest man is the one who has the least unfulfiled wants.

It's kinda sad to think that life holds so much uncertainties,
our paths may converge now,
but who knows where this winding road leads?
Probably in the near future no one's gonna 'disappear' from my life,
but life's fragile for anything to happen,
on another note,

i fear i have forgotten what it is like to be living for myself anymore,
but there's just like lesser and lesser things that i feel passionate about,
well,
shrugs,
perhaps thats the way i'm suppose to lead my life,
not that i feel unhappy or anything,
on the contary,
I guess this is how it is meanigful for me.

Such a long post,
I'm sure there might be some point where i have contradicted myself,
hahaz,
well to all my current friends,
if we do lose touch in the future,
direct me back to this post,
and may it reignite our friendship.
Lol.

A blessed life to all.
^_^

Food for thought

What's the point of comparing,
especially if it's something we cannot change.
If we always try to change things,
even those that might not be within our control,
sometimes we try to change people,
and sometimes we try to accommodate them,
but ultimately it is that,
there are too many things in life we cannot beat.
I'm not saying we should always 'relax one corner' and be passive,
stand up for the right things and for the people that matters,
have enough drive and passion in the things that matters,
and let go of the things we cannot change,
and let go of the things that will cause ourselves to be consumed,
what good is a life without our own self identity and beliefs,
a life that we compromise too much for somebody else.
Just my belief,
but the bottomline is,
have respect for everyone around you,
show it... and do it.
It is impossible to find any 2 individual with exactly the same
passion and beliefs,
what is important is to find peoples who will complement you,
and make yourself...
feel like yourself.
Don't lose yourself peeps,
love ya all for the way you all arez.
*winkz*

^_^

When

we plan too far ahead, sometimes we miss out on what is going to
happen from now till then.
It's good to have ambition, plans, goals and drive,
on another hand it's not good to be too focused on them.
Life has so many aspects,
we can't excel in every aspects,
we can't satisfy ourselves with what we want,
sometimes we spend so much time and effort chasing something,
and we let it consume ourself.
Life cannot be measured as being good or bad,
good things happen,
bad things happen,
sometimes we get the things we want,
sometimes we lose the things we do not want to lose,
out of the millions and billions of people in the world,
we only get to meet a selected few,
and even then we'll only get to know a few of them very well.
What is 'our' life,
wouldn't have any meaning without the people around us,
without the things around us.
Life changes,
perhaps it would not be good to view things as losses and gains,
because there are essentially so little things within our control,
and even for something within our control,
we might not do it well.
Everyone feels insecure in some ways,
because there are so many benchmarks and ideals that we match up to,
we want so many things,
to look good,
to be rich,
to find love,
to be intelligent,
to be successful,
stability,
wealth,
and we won't stop at being satisfied with some of these dreams,
there's always something else that we will want at any time,
when we find ourself 'wanting' more and more things,
we also find ourself getting more and more miserable.

Perhaps it would be great for the new year to tell myself this,
my new year resolution is,
i want nothing for myself,
and everything for the people around me.

p.s to everyone i know: U guys gotta want something, if not we'll all
end up a bunch of stoners. ;^P

Perhaps then,
when we don't go out seeking to please ourselves too much,
especially with the things we cannot get,
we'll find more satisfaction and meaning.

Whatever will come will come,
there's no need to avoid or seek too hard.

Another thought....bout..waiting.
I have friends that are always late, but i am a friend that is always always late too. =P
It's all bout faith and patience, and finding things to preoccupy ourselves in between.
Faith, in our friends to keep their promise, to know that they will come.
Patience, to not get angry while waiting.
And finding the right things to do in between.
Some people have a lot of faith, some people have a lot of patience.
Some people have no faith, and even less patience.
But one thing for sure,
if the person is your friend,
you shouldn't be late in the first place,
especially if the person means anything to you.

Schools starting in a month,
in the meantime,
I'll take some time and smell the roses.

-_-

Cough cough.

Zzzzz

Energy low.
Not feeling too wellz...
Hahaz not everyday can be a good day.
=/

Elizabethtown

We're always the substitute people.
When will we know we're not?
Aloha.
Hi or goodbye?

Life

Is missing something.
Somehow i feel at peace,
but i dun want to risk feeling empty one day.
Hmmmz...

I know what pp are going to say.
God.
Love.

Is it?

Tired

Out whole day... talked non stop.
hahaz.
Every outing nowadays is turning into a cafe sit down and talk session.
Grow old = Must sit down relax one corner
Anyway, am quite tired,
update soon,
peace,
find some of it everyone.

Hmmmmm

Close your eyes and you will see clearly,
cease to listen and you'll hear the truth.
Try it,
clear your thoughts,
and may peace of the heart comes.

Eeeeeeee...

Spent the morning at NTUC,
bought groceries and a whole chicken,
and the rest of the morning dissecting it,
and removing the grim from my hands.
Well, things i learned today,
1. Follow the aunties.. in terms of what they do
2. Hens are preferred over roosters
3. Don't count on your sister hahaz

Reflections

And the passing of the old,
can't say i have any regrets for the yeear that has passed,
on the contary i had many nice memories from it,
far more than any i had in the recent years.
It wasn't the easiest of years,
and i think it would be fair to say whatever i have done i have tried my best,
and however i felt could have been done otherwise does not matter now.
Think it's true fair to say everyone must have felt wronged at some pt in their life,
and has probably felt they have moved on,
and it's so true that we only know if we've moved on when something triggers off something along that path.
Many of us are more afraid of failure, pain and hurt then we actually know,
and we set up all kinds of defenses and lead our live in a way to minimise
the likelihood of experiencing all these.
Perhaps the easiest way to accept losses is to accept it's inevitability in many cases,
even if something could have been done,
the sacrifice might have been so big to derail our lives,
without guarantee of what it might bring us.
Wellz, guess postulation is what we introverts does best.
(Haz.. with introverts defined as a person who learns and matures best through constant delibiration and thinking internally)
Hahz... i've veered off what i was suppose to be blogging about.

Well,
perhaps it's good to believe that things happen when you're least looking for it,
and when we seek too hard for something we'll always lose it in the end.


ANyway... new year, have wished everyone well.
Just hope that i'll not have any regrets in the year to come,
and let a alot of life's event take it's course.
More importantly,
i hope to find some inner peace,
and hopefully i'll be share it with the pp around me.

It's so fast....the years going by.
21 now.
If i have kids by 30,
that's in 9 years time.
9 years iz not a long way away... marriage might even be earlier.
Probably in a couple of years,
we'll have our first wave of friends getting married,
(probably the NUS med pp, hahaz, almost all housemen are married )
So that's my first wedding dinner coming up in...
3 years time?
Omg.
Life passes by so quickly.

Have i been guilty of being unappreciative of whatevre has passes me by?

It would not be right to say that I'm scared.
I just hate the feeling of stepping into the near future with so much apprehensiveness.

New year

Was reading Men's health... rather interesting magazine i should say.
Of which i shall extract 2 paragraphs from.
1. Reader's feedback on a article abt getting over someone.
When you heart is broken, there's really no logic about it and all you want to do is wallow and wish for her back. But at some point in time, the wallowing must stop and life must go on. It's really just a matter of time, and also reading the right magazines.

2.Another short paragraph. Or advice.
Stay focused on loving and preotecting the people in your life,
and it's mind over what matters.

So true, its 230am le, gotta sleep soon,
new year's day kinda like the best day in the year... a fresh start for many things in life, and with it the hope for many things to be set right.

One day next time, would love to spend new year's eve with a loved one in a faraway place, and just have a private countdown to the new year.

Dreams... hopes... maybe one day they'll be reality, for now they'll let me know i'm still alive.

Shall end off the post.. too tiredz le..

No one likes to be alone,
no one is equipped to live and fight alone,
camaradie, friendship, companionship, love,
tells us we're alive,
glad to have met everyone that has passed by my life,
i wish everyone well from the bottom of my heart,
in the quiet of this new year's day night.

Poei.
^_^